Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Logline/Hook Line Blogfest

Bryan at the Time Guardian Blog is hosting a Logline/Hook Line Blogfest on May 22nd. However, I just learned that the Reader's Digest recurring "Dear Lucky Agent Contest" is for Science Fiction and Fantasy writers this month. It started yesterday and runs through the 26th. You email your Logline and first 150-200 words of a finished novel. The top 3 winners get a 10 page critique from literary agent Roseanne Wells from the Marianne Strong Literary Agency.

So, I'm posting my loglines early. Please help! I need you to shred and give all your wonderful writerly advice. Here are the websites I used to help me write my loglines.

Query Tracker . net Writing a logline/1 sentence pitch.
Two Adverbs--long, but good stuff.

Ok, so here are the rules for Bryan's blogfest. Visit his blog on the 22nd for the other entries.

The Rules:
Create a single sentence description of your novel. And don’t try to cram 13 semicolons and another half-dozen commas in to squeeze your logline into the 1 sentence rule. If you can’t speak your logline in a single breath, it’s too long. One additional note: each participant can post up to five (5) different versions of their logline. That way we can all comment on our favorite of the bunch, what worked/didn’t work, and why.

Here are my attempts:

1. In a scientific world, one woman must find the strength to embrace her magical talents in order to save her world from an invading alien force.

2. When a lonely scientist’s nightmares become reality, she joins forces with a commander in the royal army to revive a new order of mage in order to save her world from alien invaders.

3. A woman ostracized for her strange eyes, leaves the safety of her scientific life to save her planet from an alien invader by leading a magical revival.

Goodness, they are all bad! This is so hard. Which one has the most potential. What should I keep? Lose? Any suggestions? 


  1. To me as a reader the first one is the best. It's to the point, grabs your attention and leaves you wondering. It has just enough intrigue and flows smoothly.

    Good luck

    Thoughts in Progress

  2. I am going to have to agree with Mason on this one. Your first one sounds the best and immediately grabbed my attention. The third one was my least favorite. Hope that helps!

  3. Thanks Mason and Jen! I think I tried to add to much to #2 and #3? They feel clunky. I guess that means #1 is the winner.

    Any suggestions on how I can make it better? I know that is hard not knowing the story.

  4. The first one feels like the summary of a story. The other two are like little bags filled with mixed and unrelated information.

  5. I like the first one too, though I have to admit that the 'strange eyes' hooked me. It makes me wonder why she has strange eyes. Is there a way you could incorporate that into your first one???

    You are so brave for doing this! I should, too, hu???

    BTW, thanks for following my blog! <3

  6. Diandra, thanks for being honest! I read your comment and laughed because I agree.

    Elizabeth, I thought I was following you already because I knew your name, but... You should totally enter! If you do, good luck. I figure if nothing else, it is flexing my muscles to send queries. :)

  7. Your first one sounds the best and immediately grabbed my attention.
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