Friday, April 1, 2011

1 line and twitter size Pitches

Pitch is at the bottom.

Today is the day for two 1 line pitch blogfest/contests. Actually, I think I got the rules mixed up a bit for them, so hopefully what I submitted to the contest will be alright. *sigh* (the kids are home today and the noise is already unbearable.) Think I'll hide in the closet for writing time today.

Anyway, the first contest is over at Operation Awesome: Mystery Agent contest.
The rules:
1) Entry limit: 50 one-line pitches
2) Novels pitched MUST BE COMPLETE
3) You may only enter once. If you entered a past M.A. contest, you are still eligible to participate today.

Our Mystery Agent is accepting submissions for: YA, adult, and adult nonfiction manuscripts. No MG, thrillers, women's fiction, romance, poetry, short stories. 

BUT our M.A. is particularly looking for:

YA: Fantasy, urban fantasy, contemporary, dystopian, post-apocalyptic, steampunk
Adult fiction: Fantasy, urban fantasy, paranormal romance, dystopian, post-apocalyptic
Adult nonfiction: Cookbooks with a strong platform, humorous memoirs, healthy living, narrative, and current events.

Other cool stuff our M.A. wants: all things weird, fantastical, morbid, and romantic. Has a special love of unique plots, dark themes, strong characters, an engaging voice, and witty humor.

As of 8:19am there are 9 entries, so go now!

The second thing going on today is a twitter size pitch/blogfest hosted by Shelley Waters. You can sign up on Mr. Linky, post your twitter pitch on your blog, receive feedback and then submit it for a chance to win a full MS request from the amazing Susie Townsend! Yes, you read that right! (She's on my "save until you're sure you're ready" list.)

"Suzie represents adult and children’s fiction. She is actively looking to build her adult list and specifically interested in romance (historical and paranormal), and fantasy (urban fantasy, science fiction, steampunk, epic fantasy). She also loves Middle Grade and YA novels (all subgenres, but particularly literary projects)."
So, I thought the Secret Agent contest WAS the twitter length (140 characters) pitch. This is what I submitted:

Genre: Science Fantasy

As her nightmares of invasion and death become reality, a scientist embraces forgotten magic to save her world from an ancient evil. (132 characters)

Update: This is what I submitted for the contest today (April 3rd). I kept the "forgotten magic" because it's the best way to describe it, but changed the "ancient evil". I had 7 characters left!
As her nightmares of invasion and death become reality, a scientist embraces forgotten magic to save her world from humanoid dragons.

Thoughts, suggestions? All are welcome, and thanks in advance.

Now I'm off to read the other entries.


  1. That's pretty good, though I don't know why you need to say it's "forgotten" magic.

  2. Rogue, that was the easiest way I could think to say "no one believes in magic anymore and doesn't give it a second thought, but if they knew she could heal herself and others they would cut her into little bitty pieces to figure out how she does it". Yeah, I'm usually pretty wordy.

    LOL, thanks for stopping by!

  3. Ooh, great pitch. The only thoughts I have is that I've seen in query critiques that the term 'ancient evil' is too vague. But it seems to me if that's what she's doing, it's appropriate. I'm intrigued.

    Best of luck to you!

  4. Loralie my plot is a bit complicated and its making it hard to boil it down to so short a sentence. The "ancient evil" is a human dragon hybrid created by a mage and dragon to bridge the gap between their species. They meant well, but you know how that goes. :) Anyway, the Draguman were exiled to another planet (portals and stuff) which had strange effects on their progression. They stopped aging and they were unable to die or reproduce. They spent centuries getting off their planet, searching for Sendek, and becoming an unbeatable military force so they can get revenge on the humans. When they arrive, everyone thinks they are aliens, but they're really not.

    See, wordy to the end, I am. Any suggestions for how to boil that down? LOL. I sure appreciate the time you took to stop by my blog and comment.

  5. The point is to make someone want to know more about your book from the pitch right? So in my opinion the "forgotten magic" does the trick.
    I see a lot of forbidden magic, but not often forgotten. So stick to your gut feeling and do what's best for you.

    I also agree with Loralie Hall.
    If you were working on a query I would definitely go more descriptive than "ancient evil". Unless your evil is defined enough to be characterized in a different way with only two words. It's up to you to decide.

    Personally I liked it, and want to know more. Best of luck to you! :-)

  6. I liked it as well and want to know more. It's hard to get 110,000words down to 140. Good Luck

  7. Ooh, intriguing. But I think it might sound better in two sentences instead of one. The first is about the invasion and death (invasion from where? And how are people dying? War?) and the second the rest, which is good as is. Maybe describe the ancient evil? I'd like to know what they're up against.

    Liked this! Great job!

  8. I do like stories about scientists! Nightmares however might be too cliche?? I see a lot of agents/editors warning against using dreams. It's a great concept though, now we just need one or two words more words, if possible, to get something unique about this character. I'd drop the nightmare part and add a touch of personality or vo voice.

  9. It's solid. You know what the story is about. Maybe too much? If you use "ancient evil" an agent may dismiss it as "oh, another ancient evil story". If you use "crossbred dragons" it might make them go, "Cool!" (I know, I know! Character count! But have some room to play.)

  10. I'm too close to your story but I liked it.

    In a previous post, OA said, One Sentence. When the contest opened, it said One Line.
    I did a frantic shuffle and re-worded my entry.
    YIKES, I don't know if it made a difference or not but it made for shaking fingers while I typed.


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