Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Beth Fred Gives Some Great Advice!

Beth Fred is a good blogger friend of mine. In fact, she helps moderate over at Unicorn Bell. I've enjoyed her friendship and her clean romance novels. Something has been on her mind, and I love the advice she has to give on a topic that at some time or another will affect all of us.

Take it away Beth...

I love the net. Don't you? It makes life easy. We can connect with readers in our pajamas and have our books critiqued by people who live on the other side of the country. People we may never meet but know we can depend on.

But every chocolate has its calories. The net makes it easy for us to connect with people all over the world and promote books, but it's as easy for others to publish anything they want as it is for us. So what do you do when someone attacks you online? And I'm not talking about a negative review, I'm saying personally attacks you. Name calling and vicious lies online for all the world to see.

Let's start at the beginning. As with all things, the best defense is a good offense. Trust your instincts and if there is someone you know you shouldn't deal with, don't deal with them. Really. Sometimes it's hard. When you meet someone in a work environment it may seem like the best thing to do is to deal with it until you get the experience you need. But it someone is making you uncomfortable, your instincts are screaming at you for a reason.

What do you do if you're already being attacked? Ignore it. Don't respond. This happened to me once and if I could have it to do over again, I would just ignore it. It was unnerving because years passed between the incident I believe set the person off and his slander. That made it kind of scary. But I responded and that probably made it worse than it had to be.

But here is a lifeline. The lunatics forget to take into account how close knit the writing and blogging community really is. We know you. You commented on my blog. Or my friend's blog when they really needed comments. You reviewed my book. Or someone's book who I cared about. You delivered your guest post when you said you would and you tweeted and facebooked it. You donated to an auction, or organized it, or bought from it. The blog world's way of giving.

We know who you are and we don't care what anyone else says. And we don't tolerate bullying of any sort. You have nothing prove. It's already been proven by the way you live every day. So if you're going through this know we're here to help. Just ask.


  1. I've never been on the receiving end of this, but I know people who have been. Knowing you can depend on people you've never met in person in a great feeling.

  2. Thanks for having me Charity.

  3. Very smart advice! Yes, much easier to just avoid those people. And the longer you're online, the greater the chance you'll encounter someone like that.

    1. Yep. I wish I had avoided this person.

  4. Wonderful advice! Thanks for this. It is far better to ignore those people and not engage with them.

  5. Great advice. Thanks for sharing it.

  6. "Every chocolate has its calories." What a great phrase!

    Yeah, ignore the trolls. Easy to say. Hard to do when you're the target.

  7. Chocolate has calories? I thought it was ALL good for you. Thanks for the great advice, Beth. The delete key can be very powerful.


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