tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post2074960967408356077..comments2023-09-17T07:46:57.550-05:00Comments on Charity's Writing Journey: A Picture Paints 1000 Words--Earth FourCharity Bradfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-30153624992021080862012-03-28T08:08:30.453-05:002012-03-28T08:08:30.453-05:00I love that it's not Earth #2 but Earth 4. Som...I love that it's not Earth #2 but Earth 4. Somehow that makes it, idk, more established and fantastical?<br /><br />:)Mia Haysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01041441666482084762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-1369847217885714162012-03-27T22:44:49.797-05:002012-03-27T22:44:49.797-05:00"My biggest problem was the pictures to choos..."My biggest problem was the pictures to choose from were all wonderful" uhhuh<br /><br />I had wondered how this picture would be developed. Intriguing. I loved that entry message. The POV would work either way; the hook is still there for me. Which meant, for me, you've created such an excellent setting (the universe first) that the setting is a "character" in the opening. And the first "person" we meet is a disembodied voice, with a set of instructions for leaving the initial setting, moving into a more personal world.<br /><br />Starting with Tensati could still show the vastness of space as it affects a specific individual, and still introduce the setting, genre, pov and complicated romance issue.<br /><br />(Have I talked you into keeping this opening, lol.)<br /><br />Favorite concept: "Remember, you may carry your own luggage or recycle it. If you choose to recycle, you will be issued a class two mandate for your stay on Earth Four. Gold members will receive an automatic upgrade." Brilliant.<br /><br />Thanks for putting this blogfest all together Charity. It has been fun to write to and read the other excerpts.<br /><br />......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-46065504675578202492012-03-27T13:53:14.043-05:002012-03-27T13:53:14.043-05:00ah the questions of the future with the romance we...ah the questions of the future with the romance we long for =)<br /><br />nicely done!Tara Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07587802105993889515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-1425011644467962462012-03-27T12:53:42.314-05:002012-03-27T12:53:42.314-05:00It's a great start. A young earth, that in its...It's a great start. A young earth, that in itself is an exciting prospect to explore. Thanks for commenting on my entry.Rek Seshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13484322426994645221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-51596393609781515922012-03-27T11:30:30.170-05:002012-03-27T11:30:30.170-05:00I'm very curious by the idea of recycling thei...I'm very curious by the idea of recycling their luggage... I would read on to learn more about that.1000th.monkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16835988128285459745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-40580888080881774302012-03-27T09:57:02.452-05:002012-03-27T09:57:02.452-05:00That's a great hook! I love how the passengers...That's a great hook! I love how the passengers have a chance to recycle their luggage, and your main character's desire to see the new young earth!Tyrean Martinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15356604721537744361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-69285020154183794752012-03-27T08:29:49.642-05:002012-03-27T08:29:49.642-05:00Definately drew me in right away and after I heard...Definately drew me in right away and after I heard about this new young earth I wanted to learn more and more about the planet and how it compares to our earth.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05578219407942219095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-59020592475095982942012-03-26T17:04:05.085-05:002012-03-26T17:04:05.085-05:00I'm with Alicia on the the POV and would also ...I'm with Alicia on the the POV and would also read on.Aldrea Alienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05652344290376563676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-80044109201537415902012-03-26T14:27:57.683-05:002012-03-26T14:27:57.683-05:00I like it. I'm not sure I agree with the POV c...I like it. I'm not sure I agree with the POV comments. I like the far flung view that slowly tightens on one character. I would def read on! Nice!Alicia Willette-Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02174871217832164495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-65381045680997843552012-03-26T12:16:36.136-05:002012-03-26T12:16:36.136-05:00It's a good start though!It's a good start though!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-3156820654549610032012-03-26T11:30:18.415-05:002012-03-26T11:30:18.415-05:00Heck Yes it's enough to hook me!Heck Yes it's enough to hook me!Huntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-86610658113376363652012-03-26T11:00:39.510-05:002012-03-26T11:00:39.510-05:00I love the futuristic feel. You made me feel for T...I love the futuristic feel. You made me feel for Tensati in less than 300 words. Definitely worth finishing. Amazing work.<br /><br />Also thanks for commenting on my entry.Sheena-kay Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17712661419116636671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-28431925333036906962012-03-26T10:15:26.434-05:002012-03-26T10:15:26.434-05:00Haha! Too bad you don't get credit for recycli...Haha! Too bad you don't get credit for recycling it, or upgraded clothing and possessions.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-12230949236889861532012-03-26T10:14:48.057-05:002012-03-26T10:14:48.057-05:00Thanks Julie! No star-crossed lovers, not at their...Thanks Julie! No star-crossed lovers, not at their age *hint, wink*. But there could be some surprises in store for our voyagers. Think Old Man's War by John Scalzi mixed with Pinocchio. <br /><br />Wow, writing that out makes me look crazy!Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-12644580933135873972012-03-26T10:13:14.491-05:002012-03-26T10:13:14.491-05:00I saw that. It was cool to read it and know in my ...I saw that. It was cool to read it and know in my head which one you picked. Thanks for playing with us!Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-62787974875625480262012-03-26T10:12:30.011-05:002012-03-26T10:12:30.011-05:00Great suggestion Justin!Great suggestion Justin!Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-36623126782738112322012-03-26T09:59:32.155-05:002012-03-26T09:59:32.155-05:00It's a fun start. I loved the part about recyc...It's a fun start. I loved the part about recycling luggage. Presumably, this is what always happens to mine.stuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16388674850920848503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-18074635549772237632012-03-26T09:34:16.254-05:002012-03-26T09:34:16.254-05:00You definitely hooked me! I almost got a sense of ...You definitely hooked me! I almost got a sense of a futuristic Titanic voyage... will you be adding star-crossed lovers? :) Wonderful start! I'd read more!Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-17433897625716188322012-03-26T08:01:03.137-05:002012-03-26T08:01:03.137-05:00I have to third that, but I'm definitely inter...I have to third that, but I'm definitely interested in what you've got planned:)Misty Watershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17298645748620886228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-76158765505948725452012-03-26T07:06:38.052-05:002012-03-26T07:06:38.052-05:00Ooooh. I'd hve to agree with Justin. I went ...Ooooh. I'd hve to agree with Justin. I went back and reworked the wording in my head from Tensati's POV and it drew me in right away.<br /><br />By the way, I was a bit naughty and decided to hold my picture for tomorrow.Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-74293104622286451372012-03-26T06:55:41.838-05:002012-03-26T06:55:41.838-05:00The only thing that really draws me away from this...The only thing that really draws me away from this from the start is the omniscient voice in the first two sentences. Bring Tensati in from the first sentence and show him feeling the ship slowing, hearing the announcement and so forth.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Justin W. Parentehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05951018201906897315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-18294581791013088092012-03-26T06:35:21.823-05:002012-03-26T06:35:21.823-05:00Maybe, it's my fault for procrastinating, but ...Maybe, it's my fault for procrastinating, but I can't find the picture choices...Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09962862566388212238noreply@blogger.com