tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post7863448054974746698..comments2023-09-17T07:46:57.550-05:00Comments on Charity's Writing Journey: Deleted Scenes BlogfestCharity Bradfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-82783266415242080622010-05-11T22:14:22.471-05:002010-05-11T22:14:22.471-05:00Oh, geez--I knew I forgot about a blogfest.
I ta...Oh, geez--I knew I forgot about a blogfest. <br /><br />I tagged you in an actual non-blogfest-related post. Come check it out!Just Another Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07589166715361819941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-14723046951040339892010-05-11T13:02:45.257-05:002010-05-11T13:02:45.257-05:00Oh... I thought the full body was in the tank. Yea...Oh... I thought the full body was in the tank. Yeah, that's what happens with people who haven't read the book, no idea what's going on or certain details. No worries but thanks for explaining it to me. :-)Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-82308839881908493502010-05-11T11:14:18.590-05:002010-05-11T11:14:18.590-05:00That is an awesome blogfest topic! And I really l...That is an awesome blogfest topic! And I really liked your rewrite.<br />So many times I want to rewrite little parts of otherwise good books! Sounds like good practice.edithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515255878940862109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-23440626139450084992010-05-10T21:06:00.291-05:002010-05-10T21:06:00.291-05:00Woo hoo! Excellent. =) I read The Host a while ag...Woo hoo! Excellent. =) I read The Host a while ago. This is a great addition. <br /><br />I agree with your comment, I find it hard to read when I see writing that isn't that great. I guess it goes along with being a writer. =)Carolyn V.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15456210036213016603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-18982453738881019452010-05-10T19:57:58.329-05:002010-05-10T19:57:58.329-05:00Karen, thanks. I think SM's use of passive voi...Karen, thanks. I think SM's use of passive voice is why everyone gives her a hard time. Being sort of passive myself I was never so picky, until recently. I don't think I even noticed because I'm blessed with the ability to read and immerse myself in a story regardless of the writing. My mind just fills in the gaps. However, since studying all I need to know and revising my WIP, I've lost some of the joy in reading. I'm noticing crummy writing and wondering how some books ever got published. <br /><br />Tessa, thanks. ;) Like I said, the concept of the story sticks with me. For whatever reason.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-73410088756791812672010-05-10T18:06:05.639-05:002010-05-10T18:06:05.639-05:00I didn't like The Host that much, but your sce...I didn't like The Host that much, but your scene is great. Adds a little something to the story... ; )Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-46758407052429564442010-05-10T18:00:52.917-05:002010-05-10T18:00:52.917-05:00What? They were supposed to be humorous? Mine wasn...What? They were supposed to be humorous? Mine wasn't either! I haven't read The Host, and I'm LOLing about your comment on all the passive voice!Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-55744366361546778642010-05-10T11:33:11.706-05:002010-05-10T11:33:11.706-05:00Dawn, thanks! I guess I should have described the ...Dawn, thanks! I guess I should have described the tanks for those who have not read it. They are small. They fit 30 of them in a car. I imagined them about a foot tall, maybe round with a six to eight inch diameter. SM does say the souls are small enough to fit in your hand when not inside the host body. Hope that helps.<br /><br />Mia, thanks for hosting. It was really fun to do!<br /><br />Kristie, thank you! I often look at how popular and successful SM is and think, "Well, I can do that too!" I'm hoping that by taming the passive voice I'll at least be proud of the finished result regardless of if it "breaks" out or not. :)<br /><br />Mary, you should read it. I sent you an email with my take on it, but will write it here too for others passing by. It gets good after the first 120 pages. read it for the ride, thinking about the internal conflict (haha, that has multiple meanings here). there are good moments, and then others where I just skim my way through, but for some reason the story sticks with me. That's how I know I really like something. I find myself thinking about the questions and wondering what would I have done?<br /><br />Sonshine, Yay! I'm so glad. Thanks!Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-11437077555111897352010-05-10T09:21:54.679-05:002010-05-10T09:21:54.679-05:00That was really well done! It's been a while s...That was really well done! It's been a while since I've read The Host, but you pulled me right back in. :)Rebecca T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11994380364321336824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-4703188301430577832010-05-10T09:14:49.797-05:002010-05-10T09:14:49.797-05:00I'm a fanfic girl at heart, so I completely un...I'm a fanfic girl at heart, so I completely understand the compulsion to 'fix' what the original got wrong or to dig into a subplot more deeply. :-) <br /><br />I loved the urgency in this piece, I could feel it and it had me on the edge of my seat. I've never read Meyers, but maybe I should try The Host? <br /><br />Anyway, great work. Mine isn't humorous either. I guess I missed that tidbit too. lol.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13267066733031149882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-17638962552467162602010-05-10T07:55:28.993-05:002010-05-10T07:55:28.993-05:00Oh, nice job! I really, really like this one. I th...Oh, nice job! I really, really like this one. I think you made the characters more real than SM did. I thought The Host was okay, at least the ending, but it was all I could do to get that far. Probably because of that passive voice you mentioned. I really like your voice in this, though, and great imagining of how the scene would have gone down.Kristie Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01649966564896771373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-22949080329357280022010-05-10T06:07:45.241-05:002010-05-10T06:07:45.241-05:00Oh wow!! This is so cool! You know, I thought that...Oh wow!! This is so cool! You know, I thought that too when I read the book but I instantly forgave because it's just such a brilliant story :~D<br /><br />Thank you so very much for taking part!! I don't mind that it's not funny in the slightest *hugs* this is fabulous!!!Mia Haysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01041441666482084762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7762622439282650752.post-28792409114902393872010-05-10T00:40:28.244-05:002010-05-10T00:40:28.244-05:00Nice work. I know nothing of the book as I've ...Nice work. I know nothing of the book as I've never read one of Meyer's books, but I don't mind whatever you spoiled. ;-)<br /><br />I like what you put in this deleted scene, or alternative scene as it could be called. The character is interesting and likeable for sure. Only thing that sounded a bit weird to me is the very last line. He can pull the cryotank to his chest? When I think of hugging to the chest, I think of stuff like books not so much a tank. That's the only thing I didn't quite understand. The rest is great.<br /><br />I had someone suggest I read The Host and then rewrite the story in my own way. It was kind of weird. The person also thought English wasn't my first language because of the more formal tone in the chapter I had submitted. Who knows. Maybe someday I'll read the book at least.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.com