Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Sometimes Giving Up is the Right Thing To Do IWSG Nov 2016

Yeah, interesting story about my post title. Over the course of the last month I threw in the towel. Not permanently, but I decided it was time to choose my family over my writing dreams. Here's how that happened, followed by surprises for me.

I was sitting in the women's class at church on the second Sunday of October listening to a lesson on commitment. The words and questions the teacher asked have already faded from my memory. However, the discussion I had with myself during that hour is still very clear. I asked myself what I was truly committed to. What was I willing to live and die for? I took a deep look inside and didn't like what I found.

I wasn't committed to my writing. There hasn't been much of it for a long time in spite of the fact I still crave the release of moving the stories crowding my brain to the page. I can't say I'm committed if I've been trying so hard to forget my need to write in favor of something else--my family.

I wasn't 100% committed to my family either though. Over the last few years I've grown to resent them for not understanding the need to chase my dreams, for requiring so much of my attention. In fact, a lot of the soul sucking death pains I feel connected to substitute teaching are simply because my family needs me to do it. For 17 years I was a stay at home mom. I was in charge of my daily schedule and able to take care of my home and family and still find the time to write. My world wasn't perfect, but I felt happy and looked forward to finding a way to make it all work. Adding a "real" job smashed all that to smithereens.

Sitting in that room, fighting tears, I realized I wasn't committed to anything really. Not even myself. I finally understood that was probably the part of me that I was missing. I used to feel committed to lots of things. So, I made a decision. Life is hard right now. It's a bit on the crazy side, actually, so I decided to commit myself to just one thing. My family.

I would take all the jobs that came my way and stop avoiding the call center calls. I would do it gladly knowing I was helping my family in a way that they needed me to. Even if it meant not going to the writer's retreat. Even if it meant putting away the writer side of myself.

Well, I did that and the strangest thing happened. That next week I didn't get any calls, but I still missed the retreat. Instead, I stayed home and cleaned my house. Something that I haven't done in months! It felt good. My husband noticed and it helped him feel better about things. We felt like we were in this together again. I liked that feeling a lot. It was good, but even better things were in store.

The next week I worked a couple of days at the high school. I took my computer with me. Just in case. And you know what? The last two weeks of the month I've been able to write a little. I don't force it, but it's like all the weight has lifted and I can write for me again.

Here's the weirdest, and maybe coolest thing. Last Friday I was on one of my apps and got into a conversation with someone who loves dragons. I wasn't trying to sell books, but they came up and that person bought 3 of mine! Monday, they contacted me and we had a fun discussion.

Who knew that letting go was exactly what I needed?

So, if you are stuck, ask yourself if it's time to quit. For the moment I don't feel like I'm fighting against who I want to be and who my family needs me to be and I'm getting a bit of both.

Well, this post got rather long, so I won't answer this month's question, but here it is in case you want to answer it in the comments!

QUESTION: What's your favorite aspect of being a writer?


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

Monday, October 24, 2016

Scott Hamilton's Great Perspective

This is how to live your life. If you're feeling like life is knocking you down, listen to this and get right back up and keep smiling. He is such a great example of faith.



Wednesday, October 5, 2016

October IWSG--Dreaming and Dreading

Dreaming and Dreading. What a combination! However, that's where I am in my writing world. I'm dreaming of the day I can get back to my creative side. In fact, I've even told my husband that I feel like I'm losing my true self because it's been so long since I've been able to sit and write the way I used to. Free, fingers flying, characters and plots playing out in my head like a movie. I love that feeling!

This month is our writer's group writing retreat. 3 full days of no interruptions, and no excuse not to move forward on at least one project. I'm ready for it. I need it so bad, and yet I'm dreading it too. What if I get there and I can't find my creative side fast enough to take advantage of the situation?


I did okay at the spring retreat, but I was restless and took more "walks" than I think I put words on the page. I wish I could turn the writing side of me off and on. 

How do you put yourself in the mood when you have to get writing no matter what?

I plan on taking all my music and headphones, as well as download some of my pinterest inspiration board to get me started. Please tell me what else you do because I want to be over-prepared. 

October Question--When do you know your story is done?
This is going to sound dumb, but you just do. As a writer, you may not know where you'll end up, but you can feel it in your heart and soul when you get there. Your characters have become your best friends, gone through hell and back in one way or another, and at least for me, they've reached some form of resolution hinting at a happy ending. 

The harder question for me is--when is the editing done? I could tweak forever trying to get phrases, paragraphs, scenes and chapters perfect, but that will never happen. At some point I have to tell myself to let it go and move to the next story. 

What about you?


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

Monday, September 26, 2016

Gravity in space

Want to know how big of a nerd I am? I like to watch videos like this on YouTube.



Wednesday, September 7, 2016

September 2016 IWSG

Hello September! We've been having some early fall like days sprinkled in the last of summer. It's been wonderful. Our family is getting outside to enjoy the lovely weather and the beautiful state we live in.


September also means more substitute teaching jobs, which affects this month's question.

September Question:
How do you find the time to write in your busy day?

If I'm subbing, I take a notebook in the hopes I actually get my hour planning time. Sometimes Subs are asked to help out elsewhere during those free hours. I don't think that's fair really, but we have to keep the administration happy so they'll keep calling us back, so what do you do? Anyway...

If I'm lucky enough to stay home all day (which is almost never!), I have designated 12:30- 2 PM as my writing time. In the past I've turned off my phone and everything. I need to get back to that so I can be more productive during my writing time.

Other than answering the question, I'm afraid I don't have anything brilliant to say. Not any new insecurities. It's pretty much the same thing with me. Day to day stress, hoping that eventually life will calm down enough that I can sit and write these stories taking up space in my head. Until then, I sneak in writing when I can, and dream about my stories the rest of the time.

How about you?


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG


Paperback now available!
Kindle version coming September 17th.
U.S. residents can also enter to win a signed copy on Goodreads up until Sept 15th.
Read the first chapter.
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