I sent my first five queries off yesterday afternoon. Yes, I know it was Friday, and I did forget that Monday is a bank holiday. But, whatever.
Friday morning, one of my seminary students asked me how it was going with my book. A couple of them ask regularly. It hit me yesterday. They've noticed that I've stalled in actively working toward my goal of publication. How am I going to convince them they can do anything they want with their lives, reach any goal they set, if I let fear keep me from reaching mine?
So, I came home and put together the queries for 5 agents. I picked agents I like, ones I follow on twitter and their blogs. I don't have a TOP Agents list. They all seem great and I just want to find one that likes my book that I can work well with.
I expected to feel terrified or anxious or something else equally nerve wracking when I hit send on that first query. I didn't really feel anything. So while I was still in shock, I sent the next four and waited.
How do I feel? Relieved. No matter what happens next, I took that step into the unknown. I put enough faith in myself to take a chance. There's nothing to lose, right? Only dreams to reach. I don't really expect much, but this was a mental battle won on my part. I did it.
Now I can move on, work on a new project, and clear my mind for a while of the "what ifs". Is my novel perfect? No. Do I know how to make it better? Yes. Am I working on it? No, my brain is fried and I'd like a professional opinion (on my book and my brain). Do I expect to get that during the query process? No, I'm naive but not stupid.
Mostly, I'm looking forward to getting book two down on paper during Nano. I know I'll learn things about Talia and Landry that I don't currently know and that will help when I start a new round of revisions in December. You see, I'm not giving up on Sendek. I love the story, I love the characters, and I'm going to keep making it better until someone else falls in love with it too. It just may take a while.
And I'm good with that.
I've added a list to the sidebar under the pledge button to keep you updated with my progress. My goal is to send out another five queries by the end of next week.