Tuesday, November 30, 2010

From One Frying Pan to the Next

This post will take the place of the Wednesday post because I'm not going to have a lot of time to write the next few days.

What a crazy emotional day. First, I'm a person who likes schedules. I struggle with sudden changes of plan, which  makes the fact that I'm a panster all that more freakish. But we'll get to that later.

Things did not go as planned from the moment I woke up this morning. And it didn't get any better. It was raining, unseasonably warm, and I felt like my hubby was picking on me. So I picked a fight. Sorry hubby. He was right, I was wrong, but I needed time to reach that point.

Anyway, I was already in a downer mood, and I thought reading blogs would cheer me up. It usually does. I'm browsing my google reader and someone got the call. You know, the call. The moment I read it I was truly happy for her. I don't know Kate very well, not like I pretend I know some of you. In fact it was one of those "who is this?" moments. (Sorry Kate!) But I was still happy that someone's dreams were coming true. And then I found myself crying. Sobbing like crazy.

Whoa! What's wrong with me? In that moment of exhaustion, an avalanche of doubt and frustration buried me. I couldn't even imagine that happening to me. Not in that moment.


Then I slapped myself and sucked it up. Wallowing in self-pity is the fastest way to kill your dreams. It WILL happen some day. I just have to be patient and keep working forward every day. But why did this hit me so hard?

Usually, I'm patient. I know this road to publication will take years. So why fall apart today? Well, there was the rejection of some flash fiction today, and the fight with hubby. Mostly I think it's the stress of jumping from one frying pan to the next without any recovery time.
I just finished Nano, at least the writing part. (I'll do a "what I learned" post soon) However, there is still a lot for me to do as ML. Wednesday night (the 1st) is our Thank Goodness It's Over party. I need to make my last handout with advice on what to do now, get the treats I want to give this year, and encourage everyone to form critique groups. Then I'll take a break for a week or two before starting an email series on editing, searching for agents, drafting the synopsis, query letter, agent route vs. self-publishing pros and cons, marketing strategies, etc. (Wow! I feel overwhelmed already!) Don't worry, I'll post all my research here for you too.

The problem? Wednesday the 1st is also the start of four days of whorl wind activity for the Community Nativity Festival. I'll spend most of the day decorating the church and setting up nativities before going to the party. Then I'll spend most of TH, F and Saturday at the church. Luckily, I'm not in charge. Whew! But it will be busy as I help my daughter in the kid's craft room. I'll do all of this while getting up at 4:40 am each day to teach the class at church. I'm thinking I need to just camp out at church since it is a 20 mile round trip and I'll be going 2-3 times a day each day. Shoot me now!

If you are of the praying sort, pray that I'll come out the other end of this week with my sanity in tact. If I can find the time, I'll post something Friday. Maybe pictures of the festival?

And, if you're in the Charlotte, NC area, come visit with me at the Festival. You can find all the information about it Here.

Lesson to be learned:
You can't do it all, no matter how much you may want to.

Oh, and we never got to the pantser comment. Another day perhaps...