Saturday, May 28, 2011

First 250 Words Agent Contest

This one is hosted by Shelley Watters. Post your first 250 words, visit, comment, accept critique, polish and then post your final version on her blog (May 31st) to be judged by Judith Engracia of Liza Dawson and Associates. Visit Shelley's blog to find Mr. Linky.

It doesn't qualify for the Agent part of the contest since it isn't finished, but here is the first 258 words of my summer novel (meaning I work on it in the summer, imagine that!) I hope to finish it this summer. 

Faerie Wings
YA Contemporary Fantasy (I'm not sure yet what to call it).
Jesse wore her cap and gown over the top of her wedding dress. Kevin gazed into her eyes and declared his love with such fervency that half the women sobbed into their hankies. I admit, I might have teared up for a moment myself. Lucky for me, no one else knew about my brief time with Kevin. It had been a test to see if our friendship could be more, but it only took a week for us to agree that we made better friends than lovers.

The next week I introduced him to Jesse, and the rest as they say in the story books is history. Truly happy for both, I performed my maid of honor duties with ease, but grew restless while they danced surrounded by the rest of our graduating class. The music drummed inside my head and all I could think of was getting out.

Jesse sat down beside me. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I dunno. Usually you’d be out there dancing with us.” Jesse flicked her head toward the gyrating mass of bodies.

“Headache.” I tapped my temple.

“Why don’t you walk through the garden or something? I don’t want any wall flowers at my graduation party.”

“I thought this was your wedding reception.” I squinted at her.

“Of course it is, but Daddy wouldn’t pay for both, so I’m combining them. Just because I got married doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate the end of high school.” She laughed and started bobbing her shoulders in time with the music.

Well, what do you think? Is it too slow a start? That's my big concern, but I've been told I "rush" things, and I'm trying to slow it down a bit. This leads to the inciting incident, so I think its the right place to start. The bombshell falls in the next 88 words.

If you liked it, what was it you liked? Would you keep reading?

Oh, and what would you call a novel set in our day/age/world that also has magic and faeries?

Thanks in advance for any and all comments!