Crazy things from a writer's mind

Writers are strange creatures. If you don't know one in real life, you may have no idea how bizarre we can be. Some things you might be able to guess. Things like:

• We are often distracted by the characters and worlds in our heads. This means we often ignore people around us without meaning to. 
• Everything we hear, see, and experience can and will make its way into our stories whether we realize it or not.
• On a certain level we are gluttons for punishment. We write because we have this drive to share and we want to hear what others think. Even if it's bad. (At least this is true in my case. I'd rather hear that someone hated something I wrote than nothing at all)
• We can be narcissistic when it comes to our stories. Ask us about one of our books and we'll talk forever.

That's all pretty basic stuff, but most of us keep the funnier stuff to ourselves. I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the odd thoughts of at least one writer.

I can "dentist" like a pro and therefore I'd make a great spy.

I've always hated going to the dentist. It's painful, the noises are awful, and sitting with a death grip on the chair hand rests leave me exhausted. And that's just for a cleaning! So how can I say I go to the dentist like a pro?

I've trained myself to go to a different place--one of my worlds.I talk with my characters, and when the noises get too much, I simply breathe. Breathe and make myself relax.

Today I was breathing, relaxing, getting through the drilling and so forth while tooth dust was flying up and landing on my face, and the thought came to me--"I'd make a great spy because I'd be able to hold out a long time while being tortured."

I mean, think about it. I have a high tolerance for pain, I know how to take my mind somewhere else, and I've perfected the technique of breathing.

In reality, I'd make a horrible spy. I can't lie to save my life, I'm clueless when it comes to reading other people, and as soon as they threatened to hurt someone else I'd cave. But, for about 30 minutes today I believed I'd be a good spy.

What crazy things do you find yourself thinking? Share with me something you'd never tell anyone. Who knows, it might make it into one of my stories one day.