Wednesday, May 4, 2016

#IWSG May the 4th Be With You


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

First, happy May the 4th day!

Let me tell you I'm wishing for some kind of magic of my own today. Whether it be the force, natural magic like Talia, or wand magic like Harry Potter, I don't really care. Something I could use to get my house clean and enforce the rules about NOT eating in the living room. :)


As for my insecurities...

I'm so sick of being tired and wondering when I'll feel like myself again. Hubby and I have worked our way through almost two years of major life stress. For the most part we've put on the happy face and done our best, but prolonged stress will knock anybody down. On tope of it all, now I've got a 16 year old who has quit school. We pushed her through the GED program at least so she has that. However, now she thinks she can just sit at home and do nothing.

There just isn't anything left emotionally for me to sit down and write. I miss it. At night I dream about sitting and writing and finishing the three stories hiding in the shadows of my mind. Yeah, they're hiding.

Every once in a while I'll catch a glimpse of those characters. When I beg them to come out and play the men won't look me in the eye, and a few of the women might have cried.

My insecurity is more like terror. If I don't get to write soon I'm going to go insane. As it is I feel lost in my own life. It's not a good feeling.

The plan?

First, keep praying for strength.  I know God has a plan for all of us. He's always there to lend his strength when ours has run out. I simply have to keep doing the best I can and trust in Him to make up the difference.

Second, keep walking and running. I had already started, but to make sure I don't quit, I signed up for the Country Music Marathon in April 2017. It will take all year to build up my miles, but I can do it. Right?? If nothing else, maybe I'll finally drop the weight, sleep better, and regain the ability to focus.

Third, find a few days to run away with my hubby. It's been too long since we've done anything relaxing. Even longer since we got away overnight without the kids. Maybe a couple days of not being Mom would help me find myself again. I do have a name after all, and I had dreams and goals before I had children. As much as I love them, they won't always be here and I need to know what comes after they all leave.

So, when you get stressed out do you want to run away? Where would you run to?

23 comments:

  1. You need some time away all right!
    Good thing your kid doesn't live at my house. It would be get a job or get a new place to live. (I know, I'm tough.)

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  2. I did run away, at least, through the neighborhood. I never thought in a million years I would ever take up jogging. Then I had kids. Nothing like screaming toddlers to make racing through the streets seem appealing. And yes, it does help me sleep. It would help me lose weight, but my sweet tooth is counteracting that.

    I don't know if it's possible, but maybe your daughter could find a minimum wage job. It would give her life some structure and demonstrate why people pursue education--so they can get a good job.

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  3. A job is on the list. She has to have one by the end of June. We gave her that long because we want her to go on the church youth trip the first week in June. She's also looking at Cosmetology school, but she's going to need to save up and help pay for it. I'm afraid if we just pay it she'll quit again.

    And I think the running will help for all the reasons @Tamara mentioned. If nothing else it gets the blood flowing and gives me time to just think. Currently I'm not running with music so it's great. Once I get over 4 miles I'll have to have some tunes though. :)

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  4. Nothing gets in the way of writing more than life itself. Stress not only interferes with creativity it interferes with our health. It’s fabulous you have running as a release, but you need time away, too. For me, I run to the water, always. Fortunately I'm 200 feet away a harbor.

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    1. Nice! Last fall we bought kayaks, but then my hubby's truck broke down. Now we have no way to get them to the lake even though it's only a 7 minute drive away. *sigh* Maybe I should start running to the lake and rest there before heading home.

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  5. I like your plan. Above everything else in our priorities has to be those people we love.

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    1. Yes, I agree. I just wish I felt like their priority every once in a while. At least we have mother's day this week. :)

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  6. A lady on Quora told me about this groovy site.....how inspiring it is. On your dillema ;
    Husband and free time
    16 year old;
    Yes, I feel for you, As a Mum, I am sorry that you are going through this time with your daughter. I live in Fremantle in Western Australia so not quite sure what it's like in America but are there
    1. places like in Western Australia called Head Space? This is a counselling service which my youngest son goes to once per week. They have a GP there and councillors. I think it has a bit of a .....community feel about that.
    2. It feels like you need some me time, Personally, I'm all into getting as much support I can at all times. How can you get away for a haircut?
    spending a bit of time at the beach or the lake and not talk to anyone but just, sit in the now and focus on the present ?
    cafe coffee and sit there with someone or a friend or even that husband of yours??
    I hae a doggy called Arlo, he is the love of my life.......he keeps me wanting to cuddle him all the time !! He gives me such good stuff!!
    Anyway, you seem to have all in control, it's different here in Australia, I cannot wait to have a story to submit!!!
    Chow from
    Anne

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    1. Anne, these are great ideas! My daughter does go to counseling and it helps some, but it's still early.

      I did talk to my hubby about running away for a night at least. Until the house sells we can't do much, but we're going to try. I really had hoped for a trip to Europe this year for our 20th anniversary. I've never been outside the states and thought that would be amazing. Maybe next year.

      I hope you keep your enthusiasm and get a story finished. It's an amazing feeling!

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  7. Hi, Charity! I'm visiting today as an IWSG co-host, and I really enjoyed your post. You immediately made me think of Samantha, the witch in "Bewitched" and of how many times I wished I could twist my nose like her and banish a messy house! LOL

    Your daughter's situation is a tough one. I'm glad that you insisted on her getting a GED. She's very young, and she still has lots of time to work things out and get on a better course. One of my sisters recently went through a similar situation with her daughter, and my niece is finally on her own and making it work. It took my sister lots of love, support, and some toughness for her talented daughter to get through it successfully. I feel a lot of empathy for young people today. The world is a daunting and difficult place. Sending you both a hug and a prayer.

    Kudos on your marathon goal! I'm a big believer in the benefits of walking and running! btw, when I retired I started walking daily and recording my distances. I decided to "walk" from Aurora, Colorado to St. Anthony, Newfoundland. As of Monday I have walked for 1424 days, and I'm am now just 35 miles away from my grandmother's home in Nova Scotia!! Still a ways to go to St. Anthony, but it's a great motivator!

    And definitely, get away with your husband! Wishing you all the best!

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    1. Thank you Fundy! The world seems to be beating our children down. It's good to hear that others are working through it successfully though. I do love her and that's probably why it hurts so much. She's so beautiful and amazing but she's hiding from her potential. I appreciate the hug and the prayer!

      How cool that you're "walking" to Newfoundland! Maybe that would be a cool goal for me as well. I'd love to go to Peru and see Machu Picchu. I'll have to see how far that is. Thanks for the idea!

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  8. I definitely agree that some time away with just your hubby will refresh you. You need to find your zen. Have you tried some breathing exercises? I had a stressful past few days and found taking some deep breaths, holding then slowly releasing did ease some of my panic.

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    1. I'll try this too. Today I retreated to the sunroom to sit in the nice breeze surrounded by the whispering of trees. It's helped tremendously today!

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  9. Sorry things have gotten so stressful for you. Sounds like your daughter has a plan. I hope that all works out.

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    1. Thanks Liz, I know it will eventually.

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  10. A have a writer fantasy...run away for a weekend, all alone, with nothing to do but write. No TV, no internet. But keep the room service.

    Chronic stress is a killer. I had a period of about five years where it honestly felt like the bottom dropped out of life. Some days, I felt so tired if the cable bill arrived and was a nickel higher than expected, I'd feel so worn out and just want to cry rather than call and argue the price. I found writing was my therapy. I just wrote. Anything I wanted. No worries about selling or making it fit the rules. It was for me. I'm not sure that manuscript will ever see the light of day, but it beat therapy and excessive alcohol.

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    1. That's my fantasy too! I totally understand the need to cry rather than fight. I used to write to deal with it, but then the writing became part of the stress for my husband. When he gets really stressed he picks on my writing. For the good of the relationship I back off. Doesn't help me though.

      I do have to say that yesterday was good for me. After visiting several blogs and doing "writerly" things I felt a bit better. I spent some time on a first chapter and took it to writer's group. They had seen a previous version and I almost dreaded sharing it again. However, they got really excited. It's like I finally found the right combination and they were hooked. It was great for my ego.

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear that life troubles are stressing you out. I can't know what you're going through, but 6 months ago, I started grinding my teeth in my sleep. First I got headaches and earaches. Then my jaw started hurting. Then I got a serious tooth abscess (which cost a lot of time and money I don't have). I'm trying to de-stress, but it's tough when you don't have much control over work, money, or the "stresser" you live with. I really hope things get better in your life. I think the three things you're doing are pro-active. Wishing you lots of good luck!

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    1. Exactly! It's hard to lose control over the things that contribute to our daily lives. I hope things get better for both of us. Good luck to you too!

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  12. Charity, my heart goes out to you. I know what you mean about stress preventing you from writing. Stress can ruin your creativity as well as your health. Try to remember the Serenity Prayer. I know it's hard. I went thru a very stressful time for 4 years. I quit writing for the last 2--no energy. Think: this too shall pass. It does. You & your husband will be stronger for it. Hard to believe, isn't it? Running is a great stress reliever. And yes, try to get away with your husband. Best wishes on all that you're doing, esp. prepping for the marathon.

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    1. Thanks Diane! I need to stick with it to reap the benefits, but I'll get there. I hope your writing is in a better place now than it was before?

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  13. Yes, find some time away for you and your hubby. Refresh yourselves and rebuild your strength. I have trouble writing when I'm stressed too, but eventually the muse will get you to sit and create. Good luck with everything!

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  14. Stress definitely wears a person down. It's okay not to be writing right now. Focus on getting you to a better place and then the writing will come back. Good luck with your daughter. It's hard when children are going through a tough time. The fact that she has her GED is a great start, though.

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