Exciting things brewing at Unicorn Bell

This is what I posted over there today. If you want to join in the fun, head over there and follow so you can get all the details as they unfold.

We've been sitting on something here at UB.

Well, yeah, that too, but I'm talking about something new for our little blog.

Something we've been dreaming of doing.

Something with YOU in mind.

The time has finally arrived to fill you in on our plan to take over the world!

*cough* *cough*

Sorry, not that plan.

What plan? We aren't plotting to take over the world so just stop already.

Now, where were we?

Oh yes. The plan to help you wonderful followers get some quality feedback on your work.

We are excited to announce the School's In Query Contest!

We are devoting most of August to queries: how to's, examples, workshops and the query process in general. The last week of August we will have three wonderful guest judges reading all polished queries for FINISHED manuscripts.

Krystal Wade from Curiosity Quills
Nancy Bell from MuseItUp Publishing
Amy Lichtenhan SapphireStar Publishing

If they like what they see, they may request pages and who knows where that may lead you?

There will be more info coming over the next few weeks, but we wanted to give you time to comb through that MS one more time. Maybe even get one more beta reader? Here's what these ladies said they are looking for right now.

Krystal--I love older mc's (18+)! I'd like to see some good dystopian, more male
mc's too, and then of course anything scifi/fantasy/paranormal with
something new and unusual.

Nancy--MuseItUp is looking for more dark fiction, horror, as we are light in
that department. However, romance, historical romance, YA/MG from a male
POV that will entice that sector. Of course, we are open to anything
that is well written and crafted. We don't publish literary fiction or
poetry.

Amy--We're especially interested in contemporary romance and paranormal
romance at this time, although we are accepting submissions in all
fiction categories.

If you are interested in playing, what questions do you have about the contest?
Please email them to unicornbellsubmissions@gmail.com and I'll post and answer all of them for our Friday post.

...And for anyone who might be interested, look what I found on Google.

Working with my editor

If you are looking for my "Lightning Flashed" Blogfest entry, you can find it HERE. 

I have to say that working with an editor has been wonderful so far. Two weeks ago I received my first editor's letter. This was a three page general thoughts on Sendek. It contained a section on The Most Important, Things to Address, and Other Things I Noticed. Each section contained questions that came up as she read, concerns, and some of the things I was doing right.

And you know what? Nothing made me cry! I was prepared to cry, but it looks like those years of hard work paid off. Don't get me wrong, there is still quite a bit of polishing to do, but it's all stuff I'm excited about.

Because of this first letter--and the questions, concerns, and suggestions Amie made--I feel that creative buzz again. Ideas are floating around and solidifying into scenes.

Nothing major is changing. However, I have the opportunity to deepen certain aspects of the story, add some more depth to Talia's character and the stakes throughout her journey. The best part is that most of the places where Amie wanted to know more are things that I already knew the answers to. It's all part of the back story I cut at some point in time.

Now I need to find the right way to sprinkle some of it back in. And that's exciting!

The goal is this:

 Not this:

It's also obvious from the page numbers listed in the letter that I combed through the front half of my book more than the latter half.


What tricks do you use to make sure you edit the back half as well as the front half?

In the future I'm going to try the end to beginning method of revision. This way you have to concentrate on each sentence on it's own because you can't get caught up in the story.

First Chapter Joy

For the last few months I've been unhappy with the changes I made to Sendek. We all know how important that first chapter is. It's the make or break point for most readers.

Months of reading blogs and agent sites on what a first chapter should accomplish saw me rewriting and tweaking my first chapter over and over. Another thing that had me tied in knots were the comments from friends and family about how my religion plays into my writing. "How would you feel if (fill in the blank) read your book?"

So I calmed down my kissing scenes. Kissing scenes! Not even sex scenes. I tried to make it all the things everyone else said it should be, until it looked like this...

And to be honest with you, I didn't like it very much. I grew disheartened and put it away. That was the end of October. Part of me was ready to call it quits. I felt like a kid play acting the part of a writer. When I looked at all the things I wrote, all I saw were the flaws.

Taking most of November and December off was the best thing I could do. I kept up a positive face on the blog, but I considered stuffing everything in a drawer and walking away.

I did a lot of thinking.

A lot of questioning.

And you know what? I realized I don't give a flying fig what anyone else thinks of my story or how I tell it. It's my story. Life is not all clean and sterile. It's messy with emotions and bad decisions that we learn from, and it's okay if that's what I want to write about.

Yesterday I sat down and rewrote the first chapter of Sendek. I wrote it the way I see it in my head. I didn't think about the "rules" or anything else that I've ever read or been told.

And I like it.

I feel content again for the first time in months. It's a great feeling.

Want a peak?

Here's the first 500 words of my first chapter of Sendek: The Magic Wakes.

Damn. There was no way out of it. And no way to explain.

At moments like this, Talia wished she had opted for the smaller view screen. President Fielding's gray hair and wrinkle-lined eyes loomed over her on the wall-sized unit. She clenched her hands to keep them from trembling. He had given in to her before. She had to try one more time.

“Sir, I can work remotely from here in my living room. There’s no need for me to move to Joharadin.”

“Miss Shannon, you’ve put this off long enough.” Fielding clasped his hands in front of him and leaned toward her from his desk. “We need you face to face with the Royalists. They can make the moon colony happen, but we have to play by their rules to get it.”

“But if I—”

“If you choose not to come, you can consider your satellite funding at an end. Be on that tram tomorrow. Unless," His eyebrows lifted in hope, "I can convince you to take a transport?”

Talia sighed, “I’ll be on the tram. You know I prefer to stay close to the ground.”

“Very well. I’m meeting you myself, so there’s no backing out. If I have to come all the way to Gneledar to collect you I will not be happy.” He winked and let the ghost of a smile twitch at the corners of his lips. Then he waved his hand and the Space Exploration Foundation’s emblem replaced his image.

Talia collapsed on the couch and rested her head in her hands. Joharadin, capital of Algodova. She had plenty of reasons to stay as far away from there as possible, but there was no way to explain that to Fielding. Sometimes he exuded a grandfatherly attitude towards her, but he was still a man of science. Talk of prophetic dreams would not go over well, especially as an excuse.

“Raise blinds.” Talia spoke the command and the house computer obeyed.

She rose from the couch and leaned against the window. The trees blocked the view of the city, but she knew Gneledar was there. Her home town. The loneliest place on the planet. At least for her.

Generally, she welcomed traveling to other cities for the SEF. The weeks and months in the company of co-workers offered a semblance of a social life not available to her at home. But not Joharadin. Just the thought of the city of her nightmares caused her skin to crawl and her heart to race. A dull ache formed behind her eyes and she rubbed at her temple.

The light from Sendek’s double suns filtered through the trees and into her living room. Flecks of gold danced with the shimmery green across the floor. The movement imitated her nerves. It was already starting.

I’ll dream tonight. Talia sent her thoughts out into the trees and waited for their answer.

We will be here when you do.

I'd ask questions to guide your comments, but after boldly stating that I'm writing for myself now, it doesn't make sense. ;) Feel free to comment anyway. Especially if you've read earlier versions. 

I'm still interested in your thoughts but I'm not rewriting for anyone but me. 

Or an agent. :D 

I can be bought.

Deja Vu Blogfest: Show vs. Tell Example

Today I'm taking part in the Deja Vu blogfest hosted by DL Hammond. Click the link to see the other entrants. The idea is simple. Post a previous blog post that you think you might have been "missed" by the blogosphere. This was originally posted January 19th, 2011. As you will see, I missed a blogfest I wanted to participate in. So, what better post to repost for another blogfest?

I will say that the showing part has been revised. I'm trying to get it ready to submit somewhere, so please feel free to point out any areas that need work. (My updated notes in purple.)


January 19, 2011
I missed Misty's Show vs. Tell blogfest, but I really wanted to do it. So, I did it just for fun. She had several photos we could pick to use as inspiration. I placed the photo between the telling and the showing versions. Here you go.

Note 1: Um, sorry, I really got into the scene in my head and it came out a bit long. I'm not in the running for her awesome prizes, but would love to hear your comments. (There's also a tribute to one of my favorite authors, David Gerrold. Did you catch it?)

Note 2: I wrote this straight into blogger so it's a first draft, but I'm really excited about it. I'm thinking of expanding the idea to a three part short story. Kind of a past, present and future three segment thing. This would be the present. (You're not getting the first draft of showing section from January. I'm including the first 450 words of the most recent revision. The story is finished at 2,588 and needs to be fine tuned.)

Telling:

The alien ships landed Tuesday morning.

By the afternoon, the Allied forces were dumping everything we had on top of them. They sent me to the front line to make sure nothing walked out alive, because I'm the best. Conflicted, I prepared to do my job. Then the distress signal came in.

Someone on those ships knew my name. They called to me for help. And I went.

The angel waiting for me asked for my help, and I plead for her forgiveness as I scooped her into my arms. One look at my squad and I knew they had my back. Our lives became hers, and we would sacrifice everything to protect her.

But first we had to reach safety.

Showing:

Eight hours of freedom. That’s all I had left when the call came in.

“Briggs, turn on the T.V.” It was my weapons specialist, Dingilliad.

“What channel?” I picked up the remote.

“Doesn’t matter.”

The screen snapped on. An alien space ship had entered earth’s orbit three hours ago.

“Holy crap.”

A petite blond sat at the desk and read the report.
“The ship has been circling the globe, pausing at seemingly random places. Those who have observed the object report a low melancholy music emanating from within. These people have their own idea as to what the ship is doing here.”

The screen split to show a pastoral countryside in Scotland. An old man spoke in a heavy accent.

“The music was heartbreaking.” His shoulders slumped and his lip quivered. “It reminded me of when my Sarah passed away. They’ve lost something and now they’re looking for it.”

The newswoman frowned. “Similar stories are being reported all over the world. Could they be searching for something? Wait one moment,” She touched her ear and cocked her head to the side. Her brow furrowed and then she lowered a shaking hand. “The ship is now passing over the United States. It is currently moving down the coast from Maine. The Department of Defense is calling all off duty and inactive military staff to action. We encourage all civilians to remain in their homes until further notice.”

Dingilliad’s voice reminded me there was a phone in my hand.

“Chigger is here already. Come get us so we can get back to base. We don’t want to miss this one.”

“Yeah, on my way.”

****

I stood, binoculars in hand, at the edge of the desert in New Mexico. Dirt, yucca, and creosote bushes as far as the eye could see. The only difference today was the ship slowing to a stop five kilometers to the north of us. Ten miles from Roswell. The irony wasn’t lost on any of us.

The ship hovered over the desert. There was no shiny silver metal. No smooth surfaces or blinking lights. It looked like a floating hunk of scrap metal. Lumpy, brown, rusted, and pitted from micro-impacts it was a fifty foot oblong asteroid. No one would have thought it pretty, and yet it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I shook my head and turned to Chigger. “Can you believe this?”

“Every sci fi movie I’ve ever seen is running through my head.” He pointed back at the ship. “Look.”

A long dagger like antenna grew from the top of the ship. Then a shorter one from the bottom, and two fin like protuberances from the sides.

Q4U: What do you think? Is there enough to pull you in or am I taking too long to get to it?

Writing Report

For anyone who may by looking for it, my Casting Call Post is below this one.


I have been revising like crazy all month. That simple POV switch turned out to be a lot more work than I envisioned, but I'm almost done. Here is where I stand numbers wise.

37/39 chapters switched to all 3rd person POV (I'm on scene two in chapter 32)
2/4 new scenes written
87,946 Current word count
475 Printed pages 5x8 size book (According to Scrivener)
2 publishers waiting to receive the full MS for review (Hopefully, with baited breath)

My goal? Finish by the end of this week so I can send in my submissions before starting Nano.

Wish me luck!

And then there's Nano. My location for the Kick-off party fell through. That means I'll be driving around begging for a new one today. First pick? This place...

I couldn't find an actual picture, but let's just say its a dream hang out for the artsy at heart. Mismatched furniture, comfy chairs, cool light fixtures made from all kinds of 'found' things, and French pastries! It's my favorite place for write-ins. Plus it's open 24 hours a day.

Update: I got Amelie's! Unfortunately, it isn't free. Hopefully, my fellow wrimos will donate a dollar or two.

Oh, and...

I wanted to ask you a question. Would you be interested in guest posting on my blog in November?

I know I'm going to be sporadic at best with doing Nano and MLing my home area--plus all that other stuff I'm supposed to be doing. However, I don't want to leave you high and dry for an entire month. Or just pop in with a word count reports--although I'm sure there will be plenty of that.

So, if you are interested, email me at charity.bradford@gmail.com and tell me what day you would like and what topic you will cover.

Thanks!