Friday, July 12, 2013

Emotional ADHD and the Review That Made My Day

Do you ever feel like you have emotional ADHD? If you answered no you are probably a man. Is that a false assumption on my part? Is crazy emotional roller coastering a symptom only women have to deal with?

I'm two weeks away from my next author event and I've struggled to do anything to get ready. It's in another state, but my "home" state, meaning where I went to high school. So even though it's harder to work out details it has the potential to be a great success because I know people there. And yet that also makes the pressure greater.

What if no one comes? Is that because they just don't care? Don't like me?

Or is it simply because they didn't know I was coming?

I contacted one local paper and sent messages to those I couldn't get a real person on the phone for. The one asked me to email the info. Great! Will do!

Crap, the press release Shauna (from WiDo) made for me is lost on my dead computer.

Okay, no sweat. Just tell them who you are, your connection to the area, list the book, publisher, date/time of event, and include the back jacket blurb. Right?

And then sit around with no response. I've done this so many times and it's starting to condition me.

Send it in an email, please = so we can ignore you and forget you ever called.

I'm sure it doesn't really mean that, but that's what it feels like. So, in the midst of all of this I got to a point where I just didn't want to do it any more. I don't know if all my scrounging around helps, so why bother? And then I got this jewel on Amazon.

I wanted to just cry. This is why I wanted to write and that's what I need to remember. I want to share stories that people can just enjoy. Things that will keep you up at night just because you have to see what happens.

This reminded me that I need to stop worrying about the mistakes that I still make. Not forget, but allow myself to grow and become better. I need to let go of the things in my writing and personal life that have crushed my ego and just write for the sheer enjoyment of it again.

And that's what I'm doing.

As of today, I'm 9851 words into my campnanowrimo project titled Last Christmas. It's a pressure free project and as I write it, I'm finding that I can think more about where I want to take the other stories that are sitting half finished on my hard drive.

And that's a really good thing.

Stay tuned...I might share some snippets.