Loose Leaf Author Podcast

So, the Patreon thing is a really slow project. In actuality, it feels like banging your head repeatedly against a wall. I'm putting in more work over there than I have on this blog for the last two years, and yet it's crickets. I was really hoping for a sense of community more than even having a set income I could depend on for editing and cover art.

Yeah, another author clued me in that is never going to happen. He has over 200 subscribers after two years, but he says they all read the posts in their email and don't visit the Patreon page. So, no comments is normal. At least he has subscribers.

Anyway, I had started a podcast to post for my subscribers. There's a big learning curve for me, but I'm finding I enjoy it. However, that's a lot of work for 8 people to listen to. So, my podcast...

...The first four episodes are up. My Patreon subscribers will continue to get the episodes a couple of weeks before they go live for the public. I know it is searchable on Apple Podcasts, Castbox, Spotify, and Google Play.

For some reason, episode 4 is listed first. I've gone in and changed the date of publication in the metadata and it didn't fix the issue. Anyway, you'll see I started more natural, freaked out because I would forget to talk about things I wanted to, and then moved toward reading everything. Fast.

Yeah, kiss of death. I want to go back to a more natural format, but I feel weird talking to myself. So, this week I'm going to record conversations with my kids on how life has been different the last two months as well as some of their favorite things. It should definitely make it more interesting.

Check it out, subscribe (it's free!) and then send me comments on what I should talk about. I'd love to interview other authors once I figure out how to do that over the phone with decent sound quality.

So much to learn!

Understanding the source of insecurity--IWSG Nov 2019

First, I have a tagline!

Why do we let insecurity creep into our lives?

We've all had moments when we were proud of our accomplishments no matter how small. Why do we forget that and worry about what other people think?

Let's consider this. Insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about one's abilities--a lack of self-confidence. This is something we learn. Little kids don't have it. They believe they can do anything and go for it with all the energy and zeal their little bodies can hold. As we grow up, we become more concerned with how other people see us than what we know about ourselves.

It's sad really.

How can we combat that? It isn't easy, but with a little effort it is possible.

1. We have to stop apologizing for not being perfect. No one else is either, so get over it.
2. We have to stop thinking it's our job to make everyone else happy. That's their choice. We can be kind and encouraging, but ultimately the only person we can make happy is ourselves.
3. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others.
4. We have to remember that we are unique, and that means we have something only we can contribute to this world.
5. We have to understand that not everyone will appreciate or agree with our contribution. And that is OKAY.
6. If someone doesn't like me, it doesn't lessen the fact that I am a child of God. He loves me and that is enough.

There are probably more things we can add to this list, and knowing them won't stop those doubts from creeping in. However, remembering them in times of insecurity can lesson the length of the ailment and help us regain our self-confidence.

What would you like to add to this list? Tell me in the comments below.

In other news:

• Both of the audiobooks I had in production wrapped up this week. They should be live and available by Thanksgiving.
• I'm tackling Nano, sort of. I'll be working on two novels at once--Talia's third book (Demon Rising), and a romance called Discovering Her Heart.
• My son is playing the lead in his high school play, and I'm so excited for him
• We're having a great experience with our exchange student

I have also created a Patreon account. If you've never heard of Patreon, it's a place where you subscribe to artists of various types. Your monthly subscription gives the artist a set income they can use to do things like pay for an editor, buy cover art, and hire an amazing audio narrator. In return, you receive exclusive materials from them.

I'll be posting early scenes from works in progress, deleted scenes, scenes from an alternate point of view, video clips, deals and freebies no one else will know about, etc. I also plan to start a podcast for my patreon subscribers talking about everything from writing, reading, travel, movies, and life in general. The best part is since I'm new at this, my early subscribers will be the ones to shape what my channel looks like for as little as $1 a month. For instance, Monday morning I posted a highly embarrassing bedhead photo of me as I sat to do a writing sprint at 7 am.

Check it out and consider subscribing! 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

IWSG: Owning "I Am a Writer"

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.


One of my first posts in 2010 was about the moment I first told someone that I was a writer. I talked about how liberating, how exciting, and even freeing it was to finally say it out loud.

This weekend I attended the Storymakers and Indie Author Hub (SMIAH) Writer's Conference in Kansas City. I used to go all the time but missed out on the last few years. Although I went to teach two classes, I believe Heavenly Father gave me that opportunity to be reminded of how I felt back in 2010. Being with other writers and published authors is the best way to get over our insecurities. Suddenly, I wasn't the only person with voices in their head. Or the only one struggling to keep writing when everything around me tries to keep me from doing just that.

Traci Hunter Abramson was the keynote speaker. A little secret, she stood up and gave her speech barefoot. I loved her before that, but she is definitely a woman after my own heart. Forget burning bras, I say burn the shoes!

Okay, sorry I got a little sidetracked. I jotted down a few notes. It wasn't anything I didn't know or even blogged about myself, but I needed the reminder that day and she was there to do it. Here they are, no explanation. Read them and let them touch your heart where and how you need it today.

• Own these four words: I am a writer.
• When did you first decide this?
• Your journey takes off when you have a purpose other than the original dream of—I'm going to be a writer. (wanting to add something of value to the world)
• Best quote ever! “We may kill people for a living. But we're nice.”
• Why do we write? Because we have to. Enough said.
• To gain our full potential, we need to: find our identity, our confidence, our voice.
• Fight the guilt when it comes to “how many other things could I be doing if I wasn't writing?” Give ourselves the gift of time to write (also part of balance)
• Prioritize: seek the balance. Determine what sacrifices you are willing to make. Treat writing like a real job.
• Our lives aren't traditional. Everyone thinks they can write a book if they only had the time. There will never be time. You have to make the time.
• Don't compare ourselves to others. Where we are on the road/path is different.
• Be a light, change a life.

And finally, here are the words from 2010. It's time I owned them once more. Even better, it's time I owned the phrase, "I am an author." My 10th story will be published on October 16th. I'm doing what I set out to do despite the challenges. Take that insecurity!

Originally posted Jan 2, 2010"You're a writer?"
"Yes." I spoke softly and then paused. A new feeling welled up inside and I wanted to hear it again, so I spoke a little louder. "Yes, I am."
After a small chuckle, he asked, "Did that feel good?"
"Yes it did. I've always answered that question by saying 'no, but I want to be'. I think this is the first time I've ever answered yes."
"Then you better say it again."
"I am a writer!" Spoken loud enough for the rest of our group to hear me and turn to stare.

It felt how I imagined the barbaric yawp from Dead Poets Society must have felt. Such a simple declaration once more made me feel like crying for joy. In the writing world I am a nobody, unknown, but inside my heart I finally feel like a writer. If I'm never picked up by an agent or publisher, I'm still proud of what I've accomplished. I still have a long way to go in this process (all the hard part actually), but I've learned that getting published is not what makes you a writer.

A writer is someone who writes to stay sane. They have a desire to share the visions, emotions, knowledge, whatever is floating around in their head by writing it down with pen and ink or keyboard. In order to quiet the voices in their head, they must put the characters on the page and give them room to grow. When they're happy, shocked, angry or sad, they write to help themselves come to new understandings about those emotions and what they mean on our journey through life. Writers enjoy the way words flow and conjure images. When they see the shadows of the clouds drifting over the mountains as they drive down the highway they want to write about it--so they do. When they see anything beautiful, they pick up a pen and jot a few lines. They carry notebooks with them everywhere they go. A writer is all these things and much much more...and I have finally become a writer.

Insecurity Challenge:
Tell someone who doesn't know that YOU are a writer. Smile and be proud of the gift of imagination and the desire to share. Embrace your imperfections but celebrate your successes too.

Teacher's Crush is available for pre-order at a discount price of $1.99 until release day--October 16th.

Blurb:
Jennifer Carlson returns to Eureka Springs in spite of her promise to never move back. Newly graduated from college, her only goal is to help her dad and get out of town. However, the good-looking biker has her second guessing what she really wants.

High school principal, Robert Allen has never been so conflicted. He was attracted to Jen before she walked into his office for an interview. Her sass, attitude, and the pain she tries to hide behind those big blue eyes make her unforgettable.

Jen needs a job, but she also longs for someone to see the real her and want her anyway. Rob might be that guy if he can convince her she doesn't have to run away from her future.

Anyone who pre-orders and emails me a screenshot will be entered to win a free audiobook of one of the first two books in this series. These are stand-alone but have crossover characters.
Email: charity.bradford@gmail.com

IWSG: The roller coaster of insecurity

The last month and a half has been insanely busy. And yet... Okay, before I get to the good news, lets do a quick recap.

• End of July--our exchange student arrived (and we finished building his room)
• August--spent an evening at the police first night event with a booth, 2 birthdays, an anniversary, I taught all day at a writer's boot camp, sent the kids back to school, day trip to Oklahoma City, and had a guest post on Janice Hardy's Fiction University
• Last week--day trip to Kansas City, went to an amusement park in Branson, MO (more in a minute), a cave, and today I'm hosting a luncheon for 90 participants in the emergency preparedness fair I've been working on since March
• Coming up in Sept--the preparedness fair and a week later I'll be teaching at a 2-day writer's conference in Kansas City
• Coming up in Oct--things will finally quiet down (I think) but I will get to spend three days selling books at a craft fair with my hubby (he's selling mandala dot art items)

 

 

Somehow, in the midst of all of this, I started writing again. Monday night I finished Teacher's Crush, a small-town romance. There's still a lot of work to be done, but it is a relief to finish something. I hope to get it out to beta readers this weekend and then release it sometime in October. 

The next big project to finish will be in my sci-fi genre--Demon Rising, book 3 in the Magic Wakes Series. I don't know if I'm ready to do it, but it's so far past time to destroy Talia's world and move on. 

All these ups and down are good. I simply had to remember that trying is its own best reward. Sometimes that gut-wrenching feeling like the floor has disappeared under your feet is exactly what you need to move forward again. I guess that's what I had started to do, but last weekend at the amusement park it became clear to me once more. 

I love roller coasters. I love the speed, the excitement, the flips and twists. However, I also enjoy stepping back onto solid ground and knowing I'm safe.

Writing is a lot like a roller coaster. Sometimes the words flow quickly and smoothly. Other times they are an old wooden coaster that knocks you around and makes you feel like your spleen has been turned to pulp. Sharing that writing with others is even more like this. It's exciting, it gets your blood pumping, and then it can jerk the ground right out from under you. Only when we remember why we write can we step back on solid ground. Only then can we say, "I will continue to write no matter what others think of me, or the finished project, because that is who I am."

So, put your hands up and scream! Laugh, cry, whatever it takes, but ride the ride.

It took wallowing in insecurity for seven and a half months this time. Hopefully, next time it won't take me so long to run back around to the waiting line for the roller coaster. 

This is my favorite ride from the weekend. The video makes it look slow. Oh, and riding it at night when all you see is the stars in the sky is pretty awesome.

How are you dealing with insecurity this month? 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

Summer Scavenger Hunt Winners and Insecurity is like bird poop

Let's start with our winners from the Solstice Scavenger Hunt. Thank you to those who commented. The grand prize winners were announced Monday on the Fantasy and Sci-fi Readers Lounge on Facebook. Head over there if you entered the contest.

Now, for the winners of the audiobooks I promised to those who commented on the scavenger hunt post. These three people can choose one, two, or all three audiobooks--The Magic Wakes (book 1), Dawn of the Mages (TMW book 2), and/or Stellar Cloud.

And the winners are...

Alex Cavanaugh

Liz A

Rebecca Woodie

Keep an eye out for an email from me later today.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

Sometimes life is beautiful. It's like this summer walk I took this morning. Blue skies above, green everywhere I looked, the sun filtering through the leaves...

The best part was it was early enough that the road was still in the shade so it wasn't too hot. The birds were singing good morning. It was really nice.

My writing world is like that sometimes. The ideas fill my head, and when I sit to write there are no interruptions. The words flow and the story takes the shape I expected. I get up from those writing sessions feeling fulfilled, like I accomplished something.

Other times, life and my writing world feel like every bird in town decided to poop on my car.

Some poop are simply distractions. My kids need something, my husband needs something, the phone won't stop ringing, I have to do laundry or not wear clothes (ick!).

But some of the poop is insecurity.

That new release has only sold a handful of copies and no one is reviewing. I thought it was my best work yet. Must not be true though if I can't even give the thing away. No one cares but my mom. I should just give up and find something else to make me happy.

The problem is all these insecure thought processes just leave me feeling yucky inside.

So, what do we need to get rid of insecurity?

Yep, find a way to wash it away. The sad bit is insecurity will come back. That's just a fact of life that will never change. The trick is to accept it and pull out the metaphorical bucket of soapy water. Whatever that may be. This week for me it is reading notes from people who do enjoy my writing. Notes from people who are NOT my family, because it means more somehow.

And I have to keep telling myself that writing is part of who I am. Even if no one ever reads another word.

What positive things do you tell yourself?

JULY 3rd question: What personal traits have you written into your characters?

For the last ten years I've been discovering myself, or who I wish I was, in almost every character I've written. They have my fears, many of my weaknesses, but some of my strengths too. The most important of which is my inability to simply give up or give in to my fear. I believe my characters to be real, flawed, and yet hopeful for the most part. This is me in a nutshell. 

IWSG June--Stop Saying "I'm Sorry"

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

The awesome co-hosts for the June 5 posting of the IWSG are Diane Burton, Kim Lajevardi, Sylvia Ney, Sarah Foster, Jennifer Hawes, and Madeline Mora-Summonte!

June 5 question: Of all the genres you read and write, which is your favorite to write in and why?

READING: I love books that make me feel something, regardless of genre. My heart has always connected to the adventure in science fiction as long as it's not too political. And in the last few years, I've grown to love reconnecting with that young first love feeling of contemporary romance.

WRITING: Because those are the two I love to read, that's what I enjoy writing the most. Lately, though my romance had been bogging me down because I'm digging "too deep." Not my words, but those of my writing group. There are certain issues my brain wants to dissect and deal with that is turning my romance into women's fiction. Maybe I should have stuck to my sci-fi ideas to do that. LOL, oh well. Good thing I can write what I want!

Reflections From May

May was a roller coaster of emotions for me. There were many great moments, lots of fast-paced days that left me drained, and some good lessons as well.

First, I've decided my husband and I should always travel in May. The last two years of May excursions have gone down in my "best trip ever" book. Last year it was Ireland. This year it was Alaska. We enjoyed the beauty of the land, saw humpback whales, otters, sea lions, orcas, and bald eagles. The trip was educational too, which is always a bonus in my book. Here are a few photos.

 Ice as we neared the Endicott Arm to view the Dawes Glacier. The sun came up and all the color came out.

 The Mendenhall Glacier was one of my favorite stops. Beautiful 70-degree weather and sunshine as we strolled through the rainforest.

This is perhaps my favorite photo from the Endicott Arm. The water was like glass, creating perfect mirroring and then the wake from the boat looked like ribbon.

Sea lions sunbathing. This lake in Juneau was so beautiful I kept expecting to see water skiers everywhere. But nope. Just whales and sea lions.

We returned home happy and refreshed, having enjoyed some of the best weather ever in Alaska. Of course, that meant life had to go crazy. We've stayed busy building another room in the garage for our exchange student who will arrive at the end of July. I'm also helping plan a writer's boot camp for August, as well as the annual preparedness fair in September. All three things feel like full-time jobs at the moment. That means there has been no writing which sends me into a perpetual state of frustration with everything and everyone. 

Victoria, Canada

The good news is I'm generally polite about it. This means I end up apologizing to everyone all the time for stupid stuff--like breathing. At one of my many meetings, another woman was trying to thank me for all I was doing. I immediately apologized for doing too much.

See, stupid stuff! Her lesson for me is something I really need to internalize. She said I needed to stop apologizing for being me. For doing the things I'm passionate about in the full-speed-ahead way that I do it. 

I told her I still feel like a poser after all these years. Sure, I've published books and am finally out of the red at the end of each year with them, but just barely. That doesn't feel like success, so I'm always saying "I'm sorry!"

This wise woman told me to stop because my experience over the last ten years is what makes me an expert. 

That's what I want to share with you today. We all need to stop saying "I'm sorry" for trying our best to do what makes us happy. Each day adds experience and makes us an authority in that area. Every mistake means we have something to share and teach others. 

In honor of that, here are a few things I'm participating in this month:

Browse and grab the first 10 chapters of my latest YA space opera HERE.

Browse and grab my first contemporary romance HERE.

Come back on June 16th to find a hidden word on my blog as well as the list of other participating blogs. 

And now, some more home project photos. The first is inside the room, the next two are the new "hall," and the last is the view from outside. We still have a ton to do, but we're getting there.

 

IWSG March--Balancing the Seesaw in my brain

Wow, this snuck up on me! Things have been a lot better since the last post. I've dug into learning more about marketing to figure out ways to improve in that area. The only downside is I'm writing almost nothing. All my time is spent taking webinars on various aspects of marketing and then trying to implement them.

I'm back to needing balance. My brain just doesn't flip back and forth between the two ways of thinking. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like I'm getting too old to keep up with the constant changes. I'm hoping it's just the fact that January and February are always so gray and gloomy. I need the sunshine to really be me.

Funny story...In January I said I was going to forget science fiction for a while and concentrate on writing and selling my romance series. Right after that, I found a wonderful Facebook page of sci-fi and fantasy authors who actually help each other with marketing instead of trying to sell to each other. It's been wonderful, but it makes it hard to finish the romance novel that has a deadline quickly approaching.

More balance needed! LOL

The good news is I've found several things with the potential to work. I did have to separate my newsletters again (pain!), created a second Instagram for the romance pen name, and am stuck keeping two Facebook Pages and websites. However, once everything is up and running smoothly, I hope to find my writing brain again. I just hope it's soon.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the February 6th posting of the IWSG are: Fundy Blue, Beverly Stowe McClure, Erika Beebe, and Lisa Buie-Collard.

March 6th Question: Whose perspective do you like to write from best, the hero (protagonist) or the villain (antagonist)? And why?

Definitely the protagonist. Why? I think it's because secretly I always want to be them. If they can work through their problems and overcome the trials and conflict in the book, them maybe I can too.

IWSG February Breakdown

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the February 6th posting of the IWSG are: Raimey Gallant, Natalie Aguirre, CV Grehan, and Michelle Wallace.

*sigh* I should apologize in advance for the extremely negative post to follow. There comes a point when you just can't pretend it's all sunshine and rainbows. Originally I hoped to post a lovely little "here's what I wish for you this month" kind of post. However, I've been an emotional child for the last two months. Angry, throwing temper tantrums. I want to scream, "I'm done!"

But I can't.

Too much of my heart and soul is wrapped up in writing. In these silly stories I want to share. The rub is I can't even give them away for free. Not the sci-fi anyway. I've tried for two months. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Booksprout. I only gave away two copies of the newest YA space opera. Out of curiosity, I posted my romance on Booksprout as well. I didn't share what I'd done anywhere. I gave away ten copies the first day with no effort on my part.

It shouldn't frustrate me. I should be happy something is reaching its audience, but why can't I figure out how to reach the other group? It's been ten years of thinking about it. And that audience is basically me! Where would I go to find my book?

The library, because I'm cheap.

Been there, tried that. They sold my books in the "Friends of the Library Sale" for $0.50 each after I had to buy them from my publisher for $10 a piece.

I'm tired of banging my head against the wall doing this on my own. Even when I had a publisher I had to do it on my own. But I can't pay someone else to do it.

The smart side of me says write romance for a year. Publish two or three of them and get some money coming in with little to no effort. But the childish side of me wants to scream that's not fair.

The worst part is all the anger makes it impossible to write romance. Just not feeling it, you know? I've also been hiding at home because I'm not a very good friend to be around right now. I hate that. I miss my friends. (Since drafting this I'm wondering if I'm having a midlife crisis or starting menopause. Could be either or both. Heaven help my family!)

I'll get over it eventually. The good thing is despite all my frustrations, I'm still listening to my favorite podcasts and taking free webinars on how to do this marketing thing. I want to quit, but I don't know how to really give up. That means there's still hope, right?

February 6 question - Besides writing what other creative outlets do you have?

I'd like to say photography, but I only have my phone. No fancy camera. Here's some pictures I'm proud of though. I've decided I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. It's good for my heart and soul.

Taken through a peep-hole cause I'm author creepy like that. LOL

And cooking and baking. Most recently I've been trying out all kinds of gluten-free cookie recipes since I've slowly been cutting gluten out of my diet. It's given me a lot more energy and less stomach issues, but man I miss cookies! This weekend I found the following online recipe and my family loved it. The best chewy gluten-free chocolate chip cookies from My Gluten-free Kitchen's website.

Here are some cakes I made for a party in December. The white one was a Blue Velvet cake, there's a chocolate mint, gingerbread with caramel cream cheese frosting, and a gluten-free brownie with raspberry mousse. All were delicious!

If you stuck this post out to the end, you deserve a cookie. I promise to get my act together and be more positive next month.

Do you ever get tired of trying to put on the "good face" because that's what we're supposed to do? Or simply frustrated with things not going like you want them to?

IWSG December: Recovering from Nano and Surprise Novellas

I participated in Nanowrimo for the first time in several years. The best part is I use Nano to help me accomplish whatever my goals are at the time. In the first couple of days, I finished THE HAND OF ATUA (currently up for pre-order for Feb 2nd release). Then I decided to write a Christmas short story with the sole purpose of publishing it on December 1st.

Crazy, right!?

Why? Because I had planned to publish three books this year and only did one. Perhaps that's a stupid reason for publishing a short story, but not making my goal really bugged me.

Well, I wrote, got feedback from beta readers, revised, and edited that story in about three weeks. CHRISTMAS MAGIC is doing well at the moment. It makes me feel good, and it sometimes makes me angry. I put years of thought and revisions into my science fiction stories and they never do as well as my romance. Is that because I'm horrible at writing science fiction or simply because romance has a larger audience?

The logical side of me says the latter is true. Romance has a huge market with lots of subgenres and a voracious reader pool. Seriously, romance readers devour books. Maybe they are just easier to market to or simply easier to please? They will forgive huge plot holes, typos, and contrived conflict that doesn't make sense. Science fiction readers are much pickier.

This is why most of my writing insecurities are tied to my science fiction stories. My sci-fi is character driven not science driven. There are aspects that fall short because no amount of reading on a topic will help me sound like I know what I'm talking about--hand to hand combat for instance. Sometimes I wonder if I should give up sci-fi ideas and stick to what makes me money.

However, I love my sci-fi ideas. They give me the opportunity to delve into things in a way I feel comfortable.  Plus, it challenges me to stretch and try and be better than I am. I guess that's what matters. If only the releasing it into the world and hearing crickets didn't hurt so much. Even though I don't get lots of reviews for romance either, at least I can see sales and pages being read.

How does your writing make you stretch and grow? What part of the stretching makes you the most insecure? 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the November 7th posting of the IWSG are: J.H. Moncrieff, Tonja Drecker, Patsy Collins, and Chrys Fey!

December Question: What are 5 objects we'd find in your writing space?

There isn't a clear answer to this one because my writing space changes all the time. I don't have a dedicated space. However, if I'm writing somewhere in my home I will have:
1. my computer of course
2. a water bottle
3. my phone
4. my dog Rosie trying to sit on top of the computer or glued to my side
5. a view of the trees

That's it. If I've traveled somewhere I lose the dog.

Now Available on Amazon

Pre-order on Amazon

IWSG November 2018 The Finisher's Worry

Well, I met one of my goals! I finally finished Eleena's story. The final title is The Hand of Atua.

It topped out at 101K and since the first two parts have already been through three or four revisions, I don't think there will be a lot of cutting in the future.

For the first couple of days after writing the last four chapters, I rode that high.

Then I turned to search for new beta readers to make sure everything flowed after all the changes I made. Enter the insecurity.

What if it's worse now than it was before?

What if it really isn't finished like I hope?

What if I'm delusional and it's crap?

Can I survive wasting three years to produce a pile of fertilizer?

All I can do right now is:

• Breathe
• Wait
• Go through it one more time (or two!) with feedback in mind
• Send it to be edited
• Release and let it go

And most of all, remember that I wrote this story for me. If others enjoy it, that's a bonus. Of course, there is still that mini-me running around in my head screaming, "Please like it! Read, review, make me famous!"

Do you find yourself the most insecure during the writing process or when you release your story?

Sadly, I think mine is when I'm finished because then it's time to share. It's easier to talk myself out of insecurities when no one else has a clue.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the November 7th posting of the IWSG are Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor, Ann V. Friend, JQ Rose, and Elizabeth Seckman!

IWSG October 2018--The Reality of a Writer

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the October posting of the IWSG are Dolorah @ Book Lover, Christopher D. Votey, Tanya Miranda, and Chemist Ken!

I wrote my post before I read the month's question, however, I think they fit rather well in the end.

The October Question: How do major life events affect your writing? Has writing ever helped you through something?

My husband thinks of me as a dreamer. For the most part, he's right, but I'm also a realist. You have to be if you're going to answer the question of why you write honestly.

Why do you write?

I write for me.

If all the books I've published disappeared from the world today, no one would miss them. I know that for a fact. Oh, sure. My mom would miss them. Maybe my kids. My good friend Kathy who has beta read every one and given invaluable advice on all of them. Maybe a handful of people that know me personally. But the world will not miss my stories. And I'm okay with that because I didn't write them for the world.

I wrote The Magic Wakes as part of my healing process from a traumatic experience and resulting depression.

Stellar Cloud is a collection of blog fest pieces from when I was blogging almost every day and reading hundreds of blogs a day. For me, it represents those friendships that helped me through some really hard times and helped me find my way as a new wanna-be author.

I wrote Fade Into Me for my girls. It was the first novel that I knew what the theme was before I wrote it. This story was a turning point for me with my writing. Still far from perfect, its a story from my heart just for them.

Even my romances are personal.

Chocolate Kisses came about because a good friend's teen daughter was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. She is this beautiful harpist--seriously she looks like an angel sitting on stage playing--and my brain started asking all these questions.

Landscape Love was written at a time when I desperately needed to feel like I was enough. Through writing it I learned that sometimes we simply need to be enough for ourselves and the rest will follow.

The new book, The Hand of Atua, is about my journey of faith. Sure it's set in space, filled with war, refugees, pain and suffering. But it's really about two people learning to trust in their god. Learning that when he says "they are in my hands" all will be well, even if he calls them home instead of saving them.

So you see, it's okay that my constant begging for reviews falls on deaf ears. Right now, at this moment, I remember why I wrote those stories in the first place. They were for me. It doesn't matter what others think. I don't need their validation today (maybe tomorrow). But tomorrow I can come back and read this post and remember again.

I write for me and it is enough.

Have you reached the point where it's enough for you?

I have also started a private facebook group for people who are willing to read and critique early versions of my projects and who want free books in exchange for honest reviews on Amazon. If you're interested (all you need to be is a reader!) check it out.

Charity's Street Team Facebook Group · 8 members Join Group This is a work in progress, but it will be a group where the people who read early versions of my books and give me good feedback can meet and discuss. There will also be opportunities to receive early copies of new releases for honest reviews.