Breaking Benjamin and Ashes of Eden

Those of you who have been around my blog for a few years might know that Breaking Benjamin is one of my all favorite bands. I can't really explain what it is, but their lyrics resonate with me. Each song creates stories in my mind. And even though I picked up Dark Before Dawn (listen here) a year late, I've got a new favorite song.

You should hear me and all four kids singing this song in the van. All of us created a story in our minds about what the story was about. Two of my children thought of Minecraft stories involving Enderman and the Ender dragon. One so detailed, I challenged her to write it because it was amazing. Another child thought of Halo, and I created this elaborate science fiction novel in my head. I've been thinking about that story for two months now. I was excited and thought I'd write it. Then I watched the official video.

The good news is, I totally get Breaking Benjamin. The sad news is, my story is too similar to the video for me to write it. But, I'll share the video with you so you can enjoy this epic song story.

Do you ever find yourself writing stories based solely on a song that you love?

My Eyes Have Been Opened By A Playlist

Seriously, how could I be so dense?

Weeks (months?) ago, one agent graciously rejected my partial and suggested I should market it as a paranormal romance instead of a YA fantasy. I was a little confused, but at the same time I figured she knew what she was talking about. Ever since then, I've put querying on hold as I let that bit of information sink in.

Today I was listening to my playlist for Fade Into Me. As I listened to this list (while cooking dinner) it finally sunk in. EVERY song is a love song.

I know this sounds silly, but I think this will help me finish polishing this story. There have been little bits that just WON'T be smoothed, and now I know why. I've been trying to fit my romance into a genre it didn't really fit. In fact, I sort of ignored a lot of the romance elements because I didn't want it to be a romance.

Time to face the facts. FIM is a romance with a younger protagonist. Plain and simple. I should roll with it.

Motivational thought for Labor Day

I'm off playing with my family, but I wanted to leave you some words that struck me as profound yesterday. They're from a song for the young women of our church, but this phrase is for every writer out there.

Don't settle for the story the world would have you write.

Stay true to yourself and the story only YOU can write.

I'll announce who gets the magnets on Wednesday. See you then!

First Loves Blogfest

Today is Alex Cavanaugh's First Loves Blogfest. We are to post our first loves – first movie, first song/band, first book, and first person. Four loves, one blogfest! Don't forget to follow the link and check out the other participants.

So here we go.

First movie I can remember loving?

The Goonies
What's not to love? A bunch of misfits trying to save their homes, pirates, booby traps, One Eyed Willie, and the Truffle Shuffle!

Great lines:
Goonies never say die.

"...booty traps." "You mean booby traps?" "Yeah, that's what I said, booby traps."


First Song/Band
This is a bit more telling on my age, but my first love here is Chicago.


First Book

I have to go with Anne of Green Gables. I relate to Anne on so many levels. Just ask anyone who knows or has met me and they can tell you that I talk constantly. If I try really hard, I can shut my mouth, but blabbering is an art with me.

There is this deep seated need in my to have people like me, and I take things very personally when they don't. And when my temper flairs, you'd swear I was a carrot top like Anne.





First Love
My first love might have been Gilbert Blythe. But my mother tells a story of catching me kissing a boy named Shawn outside my dad's Chiropractic office when I was in Kindergarten. I don't remember this, but there you go.

There were lots of crushes throughout my years, but I got lucky enough to marry and hold onto my first REAL love.

Still my favorite photo

Engagement Photo

Year 1-young, fit, hiking the Y

A bit older, rounder, but still happy to be together.

Friday Already?

Once again the week flew by, thank goodness! This gets me one step closer to a fun filled (crazy) summer and then the fall. I can't wait for the fall. For the first time in sixteen years I will be at home with NO CHILDREN during the day!

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but think of the writing I can get done. Hopefully the biggest edits for Sendek: The Magic Wakes will be almost finished by that point, but I don't really know. I guess it depends on how blind am to the true faults in my story. However, if they are finished I can put everything into finishing book two Orek: The Search for Knowledge and get a detailed outline of Battle for Sendek on paper by the end of the year. That's what I would LIKE to accomplish, but we all know how life happens.

All of that is taking for granted that Faerie Wings will be finished and beta read by one or two people BEFORE the end of summer.

Do you think its weird that I've set writing goals for the entire year already?

Well, here is the week in review:
Work on Faerie Wings I did add another 1500 words, not as much as I wanted to do. There have just been to many other things to do. Most of that 1500 words were dialogue. Funny how much I love writing descriptions, but when I write, I write the dialogue first and then fill in around it.
Finish writing the short story I started Finished and submitted. I probably should have had someone read it first. :)

Prepare and teach all my lessons this week--not last minute I even made an awesome powerpoint for one of them.

Visit two families that I need to Check, and I made homemade bread for them and another family. I really do enjoy serving others, even if I complain about it. Perhaps a goal for next week should be "less complaining".
All that housekeeping stuff that doesn't go away Eh, maybe 80% on this one?
Make eye appointments for everyone--I keep forgetting this one
Run Um, failure. I ran once. Tonight should be interesting. Good thing I already planned to stay with my 5 year old. ;)
Run a 5k with my family Friday night--This is happening no matter what.

New favorite song?

What a great week this has been! Lots of great blogfests celebrating romance, kisses, and all that jazz. Thanks for all the comments. They gave me lots to think about. I've also been reading Sendek on my Kindle. Wow, there are a lot of typos that I missed! And pronouns that didn't get switched in the POV change. Not having my computer to fix all of those is killing me right now. I tried to open my wip on hubby's computer and it didn't recognize the rtf file. That's how lame (read OLD) it is.

I'm still jotting notes and some scenes for Faerie Wings and Eleena of the Stars in notebooks. Not a lot, but just enough to keep the excitement from dying while I wait for the computer part to come in the mail.

This week signified bonus time for my family. I went wild and bought two new CDs. Yep, I'm a high roller. One of the songs hit me as the perfect end credit song for Faerie Wings if it were ever turned into a major motion picture. I can't tell you all the reasons, but let's just say the line about colors appearing and fading together sealed the deal.

I give you Fade Into Me by David Cook.

And this one would be perfect for the end credits of Eleena of the Stars.
Take Me As I Am also by David Cook.

Have a great weekend and I'll see you next week!

Apocalyptica

We've all been sick at my house. It's getting me down, but at least I feel better. Now to get all the kids better.

There hasn't been any writing since Monday, but I'm ready to get back to it. I left Ryanne in the middle of escaping from Granger's stronghold. She's been starved and so doesn't have much strength, and she's in a strange new world where she doesn't know anyone. Or does she?

Anyway, I've been listening to a lot of Apocalyptica this week. I love the idea of rock cellos, don't you? I also love that they have guest singers come in to jam with them. Here is one of my favorites, featuring Brent Smith from Shinedown.

Music to Write To

Wednesday sounds like a good day to share music, right? Well, I have a song for you. I also wanted to let you know that I finally figured out what I want to do for a vlog. Actually three somethings! They will be: Dear Dream Agent, The Emotions of Querying, and The Pitfalls of Perfection. I'm working on the scripts now and will  start recording them after camp is over.

Two weeks until camp starts. I've made 200 cinnamon rolls, 169 grilled chicken breast, and turned 100 lbs of pork shoulder over to friends to be smoked. Now my big goal is to finish the Sam's Club grocery lists so everything will be ready to pick up on Aug. 1st.

I've also scheduled two blog posts for that week. Hopefully I'll come up with the third before I leave. :) I remember one of them is a book review.

Anyway, to the music! This is an amazing song to write to. The words and emotions can fit with so many situations. I actually considered this song for my vlog on the emotional roller coaster of querying. Yeah, you can make it fit with everything!

Adele--Turning Tables (with Lyrics)


And just for fun...more of that cute British kid, Charlie and his band's song about "Blink" a Doctor Who episode. One of the best episodes EVER!

Doctor What?

Note: If you want to send in a 350 word snippet for critique, today is the last day. Email charity.bradford@gmail.com with Fearful Critique in the subject. The first critique is up at Unicorn Bell if you want to see how I critique.

Funny thing? I was terrified to post my critique for everyone to see! What if my opinion is totally and utterly wrong???

Well, it is only my opinion.

Now, here is something my kids walk around singing all the time.



...And most importantly, Doctor, how can I find you?

And for those who have no idea who or what Doctor Who is...


I want a TARDIS!
This one is long, but will give you a good idea of why we Whovians love Doctor Who.

Oh, and my four year old has Doctor Who undies. Well two pair have the David Tennant version of the Doctor, one has a Dalek, and one has a Cyberman. My neighbors are from England and we talk about Doctor Who all the time. The wife made me laugh with this comment when talking about the newest Doctor, "I loved David Tennant, but Matt Smith just isn't the sort of guy you wear on your undies."

Matt Smith has started his second season of the Doctor and I'm getting used to him and like him better and better. I agree David was the best looking Doctor though. His quirkiness and giant goofy grin were awesome! I cried with him when he said he didn't want to go.

Ok, I'm off to try and get some actual writing done today! Yeah, can you believe it?

Busy Weekend and Tagged

Update: 9:20am---Aaaahhh! I just realized I was supposed to post a wikipedia blogfest piece today. I'm going to work on it right now!

This weekend is going to by B U S Y! Tomorrow morning is graduation for all my seminary seniors. It's going to be sad to lose some of them...

Later in the afternoon we are taking family pictures. I'm excited to see how they turn out, but I'm worried too. I didn't lose the weight I wanted too (in fact I gained 5lbs stressing about it), and it is HOT here in the South. We really want outdoor pictures though. Our photographer is a good family friend and she's amazing! We will get several family shots, groupings, and individual shots.

Sunday is church, which is about four hours of busy for me, and the Super Duper One Time Only Girl's Camp meeting. There's only one just so we can give it a really long name. I'll meet with my kitchen staff for the first time and go over my plans for the week's menu. I'm also coordinating the refreshments for the 50-60 people that will be there.

I'm slightly terrified about the whole thing.

Monday is going to be a great day. Next week is my week over at Unicorn Bell. I plan on talking about how to give and receive critiques. On Tuesday I'm going to ask for 350 word story snippets to critique. This can be any spot in your WIP that you know something isn't working and you want advice on. If you have something like this, please come by next week and see how to submit it for review.

And now for the tagged portion of this post. I love reading the posts where other people get tagged. Can't say I'm good about responding when I get tagged, but I've been hit a couple of times with this one, so here goes.

Tagged by:
Trisha at Word + Stuff
Michael from SLC Kismet
And I think one more, but I forgot to bookmark it. Sorry!

Anyway, here are the questions:

Do you think you're hot?
No, but I sure wish I was! I'm just not disciplined enough to lay off the chocolate and hit the gym instead.

Upload a picture or wallpaper that you're using at the moment.

Correction--hubby did not take this one.

But he did take this one.

When was the last time you ate chicken meat?
Yesterday for lunch. A good friend taught me how to make empanadas and we used chicken. They were so yummy!

The song(s) you listened to recently.
Um, because I wanted to or because that's what the radio stations are playing over and over and over?
I'm addicted to Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin
Tomorrow by Chris Young
Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri (I listened to the whole CD yesterday and highly recommend it.)
Also check out The Lonely by Christiana Perri

What were you thinking as you were doing this?
OMGosh, how am I going to pick 8 people to tag? I hate having to single people out. What if they've already been tagged? What if they just hate this kind of thing?

Do you have nicknames? What are they?
Does Mom count? Sometimes it's the best nickname and sometimes it makes you want to scream. When I was a teenager someone called me Spot. She did it to embarrass me in front of my hubby. (He wasn't my hubby yet! We married young, but not that young.)

A lot of times people confuse my name and call me other things. That list includes: Christy, Cherry, Chastity, and the lady with the stripper's name.

I will answer to Christy, but none of the others, so don't even think about it.

Tag 8 blogger friends...
In all my thinking I decided not to. :) If you WANT to be tagged, consider yourself IT!

Friday Randomness

This has been a really long week and I don't know why. I did accomplish lots though.

For instance, I went through the first 114 pages of my novel twice this week considering the comments of two beta readers. Each time I sift through and catch those typos and awkward sentences I get more and more excited. The end MUST be getting closer each time. My goal is to have this thing out again in the slush piles by the end of June. (My dental hygienist gave me six months to bring her some positive news.)

Which brings me to my second thought. I love that people know I've written a book that I'm hoping to get published. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by people like those at my dentist who are excited for me even though they haven't read a word of the book. They hope I make it. I hope I don't disappoint them.

Next!

Don't forget that the critique blog Unicorn Bell will be live/up and running/whatever you call it on MONDAY the 23rd.  Head over now to follow and fill out the survey to help us know what you would like to see/participate in on the blog.

You can also check out the other contributors: Carol aka Huntress and Marcy.

Is it a full moon tonight? I passed two police cars and two ambulances in a three mile stretch of road on the way home this morning. What's going on?

Thunder Always Follows Lightning

Don't you love it when you are deep in revisions and lightning strikes?

That thing you just couldn't figure out is suddenly crystal clear. And it ties things up oh so nicely. It makes you feel good. It makes you feel all brilliant and sparkly.

A day or two goes by and this bolt of lightning has time to simmer and spread. It's still perfect, but...

something starts to nag at you.

Say for instance, you find a way to resolve a major problem in book 4 of your series. Its heart warming happy making while still being a bit sad. Its the perfect feeling you want. There's hope for the MC finding joy, but there's a built in distance/time frame to achieving it. That perfect bitter sweet sigh. But...

You start to ask yourself:

1. Am I taking the easy way out?

You answer no.

2. How am I going to pull that off?

3. How will each of these little technical details affect the delivery and final payoff?

And it's these details that roil and pound the inside of your head. Then you ask yourself:

4. Are all these details back story? Do I even need to know these details? Will anyone else care? Will someone put the book down and say, "Wait! Why is he a hatchling instead of a fully grown dragon?" *waves magic wand of confusion*

5. If he's fully grown how do I deal with the time differential between planetary travel? Will the worm hole portal be sufficient?

6. Who/how/when decides who ascends and who doesn't?

And on and on.

Suddenly that bolt of lightning is no longer beautiful and shiny because it has charred your brains. Maybe it isn't such a good idea after all and you should scrap the whole thing. But it feels right for this story.

Then you groan, tug out a few strands of hair and type a blog post because you need to know if you're completely crazy.

Question for you: When you are writing or plotting (which I'm actually doing!) how detailed to you get? Do those details drive you nuts?

Ya see, I worked out this elaborate spell with ingredients and everything for book one and I'm not even using it in the MS. I worked out all the rules of magic for book two and then moved some of them into book one. Now I'm trying to figure out the details of ascension in my universe. Am I over thinking this whole thing?

In other news, this is what I'm listening to in order to calm down a bit.

I'm a Liar/Compromise?

Writing isn't really about getting published, not for me anyway. Yeah, that was my dream as a teen, and it would be really cool now, but in reality writing has given me hope. It has given me something to dream about, plan and look forward to.

The rest of my life is routine, no change in sight. There will always be dishes, laundry, and kids, but I can write a story and reach the end.

I put up a good show on this blog, but the truth is I'm afraid of actually finding an agent and getting published. That dream has been my life line. What do I hold onto if it's gone?

Lately, my hubby has been worried, frustrated, even angry with me and this "writing thing". Which in turn makes me feel the same way. I don't expect him to GET IT, and he has some valid points.

• I spend way to much time reading blogs,
• or writing blogs (I have five blogs)
• chatting with people I've never met and probably never will
• I don't interact with my kids as much as he thinks I should (probably true, but they just want to play the wii anyway.)
• the house is not white glove clean
• when we try to have a conversation (hubby and me) my book or my bloggy friends are all that I can talk about. In my defense, all he talks about is work or church.
• I put in the hours of a full time job with nothing to show for it--his words not mine.

This week he mentioned that he hopes no one ever shows interest in the book because he's afraid he'll lose me even more. OUCH!

The scary thing is that when I was in the darkest days of my depression, writing gave me a reason to stick around. It was just for me. A way to explore the corners of my mind, work out emotions I couldn't deal with as my own, but when put on a fictional character I could view them differently. Logically.

I write because I NEED to write to stay whole. I write and seek publication because I would be a hypocrite if I didn't try. My whole life has been spent telling others they can do anything they want. So, I have to do what I want as well.

How do I compromise? How do I shut off the compulsion to write, communicate, and socialize so I can be the wife and mother I should be?

I have writer friends who have said, "Enough is enough!" They stopped querying and packed the stories away. Is that the only way? Should I stop and wait until my kids are grown and gone before chasing this dream? Just the thought of doing that makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

Do I stop blogging and querying and just write? Perhaps I finish writing the whole four book series, then revise and edit it to death over the next few years. I have three other ideas after those.

Would that be enough? Will it ever be enough? I feel ripped in two.

Mom or writer? Is it possible to be both and be good enough at both?

Without hubby's support, my doubts are mounting.

Snow Day Fun and Success

Now that the day is half way over, and my family is asking me, "what's for dinner?" I thought I'd post something on my blog. Ha! Nothing serious, just a quick note and maybe some food for thought.

First, I don't get any writing or much reading done when my kids are home from school. But today had some nice highlights.

• I got to spend most of the day in my PJs.
• My kids were happy to play in the snow and let me catch up on my google reader.
• I got to chat with Elizabeth Poole twice online! And we are now facebook friends. :)
• The snow is really pretty to look at from the warmth of my front room.
• I got all the laundry washed, folded and put away.
• The kids did all of their chores before 10am.
• I went for a two mile run in the snow, and now I feel like I can officially say, I'M A RUNNER. yeah.
• We are going to have breakfast for dinner, light a fire, and watch Funny Home Videos as a family.

I had some photos to go with these highlights, but for some reason my camera won't register on my computer. I think the usb cord has had it. Anyway, I also started building a Crusader's Castle out of paper. It's gonna take forever! I'll post pictures if I ever get the camera to work.

Here's a song that played during my run. The only phrase I latched onto was: I am fragile, but I'm strong enough, and I thought, that is so true for so many aspects of my life.

The lyrics to the rest of the song are awesome too, and I have to wonder at the story they are telling.

I Need Another Story...

Ok, I admit it. I think I picked the wrong project for Nano this year. What should be an easy world to fall into has let me down. All I can think about is a different story. The one I started during the summer and then set aside to prepare and write this month.

This morning this song was playing on the radio--One Republic "Secrets"


Do you think it's too late to jump ship and continue the other book. I know Nano is supposed to be 50K of a new novel, but no one's going to cut me a check at the end of the month for following the rules. And I keep saying make Nano work for you.

Yesterday I drove around in my van all day and wrote 0 words. So I'm still under the 4000 mark. It's not like I'm tossing 8-10K words away.

*sigh* It's going to be tough this year. I'm feeling the faerie story and I want to dig into revisions on Sendek. For some reason I can't let that one alone yet.

Somebody kick me.

Thanks.

Character Surprises

Have you ever learned something about yourself by accident? For example:

Some friends were over to play games--mixed company, couples. We were all sitting around on the floor talking while playing a board game and the topic of guilty pleasures came up. I don't remember how it came about, but one of the men asked me if Dierks Bentley was one of my guilty pleasures.

I was extremely shocked to find my face growing warm. Then the teasing started and I looked at my husband horrified. You have to understand, I don't daydream about other men. NEVER. Even in my subconscious dreams, it's always my husband. True!

How did I not know that this man would make me blush? Here's the writing tie-in. What do your characters not know about themselves? If we want to make believable, real characters, we need to surprise them sometimes. How do they learn about these little surprises. These scenes can add a new depth of emotions. They can be humorous or heart-wrenching. Surprises are good, just remember they should help your character grow and move the story forward. It's something to think about.

What about Dierk? Perhaps it's his voice, or simply the delivery of the music. Here's a taste so you can judge for yourself.

Friday Blahs

• New WIP: 5890 words. Still like the idea, just need some peace and quiet so I can understand what the voices are trying to tell me.
• Still need a better title for SENDEK. Worked on summary, tweaked the query a bit more thanks to your comments on Wednesday. Thanks!

I'm sinking into the blahs again. Writing stopped on Sunday. Why? I don't know. Frontierville, exhaustion, kids running around everywhere bored and needing to be entertained, oppressive heat, the fact I haven't been running in a week? Who knows for sure.

I did make myself cut my summary down to 4 pages today. It is a horrible read though. Dry, boring list. I need to find some way to put life into it, but not today. Not this week even. I'm running on empty and need to refill somewhere. So, I'm listening to music that makes me feel good...

...about myself.

Or simply reminds me that somethings are more important than others.

Happy 4th of July

To my little big brother, from your big little sister...
and all the other men and women who work so hard to protect our freedom...

Happy Independence Day

Thank You!

There was a time I watched over you...

Now you help other's watch over all of us.

We love you and think of you every day.

Character Interview--Jaron/Talon

Hah! I wrote this last week and then remembered there is a Character Interview Blogfest  today--Hosted by Echoes of a Wayward Mind. Lucky me! Follow the link to read all the posts. This will take the place of the Wednesday post.

Jaron/Talon

Jude Law would make an excellent Jaron--just lighten the hair a little. Photo found HERE

Description from WIP (I just realized that in deleting backstory, I lost a description of him. *headsmack* I found this in a section I saved but am not satisfied with it):

As Jaron closed the door to his small apartment, he laughed and let the disguise melt away. Taking his true form, Jaron collapsed in the only chair in the room. His eyes turned a smoky blue and his hair golden blonde. The added height thinned his build and stretched his facial features.

Magical talents (L for learned, N for natural strength):
L--Shape shifting, portal jumping
N--mind control, healing (undeveloped)

What brings you to Sendek?
I follow the Draguman. 

Why?
It is all I have left to do in this life. 

I'm confused, can you elaborate?
(Jaron looks at the interviewer with his steely eyes. As he stares, she glimpses a dark shadow swimming in their depths.) No, my journey is mine alone.

That really makes it hard to interview you. The rest of my questions are based on why you are here. If you don't tell us, I can't ask the rest of the questions.
Then we are done. (He stands to leave.)

Wait! Sit back down, this isn't how this is supposed to go.
I did not ask to be interviewed. This is a waste of time.

Please, sit back down. I'll pretend that you answered. I know you are here for revenge because the Draguman killed everyone on your homeworld. How does that feel?
(His eyes narrow and his eyebrows crease with the frown.) Did you just ask me how it feels to have your world destroyed?  (He shakes his head and stands again.)

Sorry, sorry! Why are you so closed off and abrasive? You act like you don't feel anything, that's why I asked.
Feeling will not bring her back. It is better this way.

Her? Your wife?
Yes.

So, you are seeking revenge for her sake. 
Yes.

Will you talk about her?
No.

Alright. Let's try something else. Do you think the death of the Draguman will bring you peace?
No.

Then why do you seek it?
Their death will bring satisfaction, a sense of justice, but not peace.

Why not?
Only Dailya's forgiveness will bring me peace. I must wait for the next life to receive that.

Your wife again?
(he nods.)

Ok, (throwing away the rest of the questions) What do you regret the most?
Melding with the demon. It has made me commit horrible crimes against my own nature.

You melded with a demon? What does that mean? How did you do it?
(He sits tight lipped.)

Fine, last question. Do you think there is hope for Sendek? Can we learn to integrate the magical with our science the way your race did?
(He sighs) I do not know. You are an immature race, full of hate, fear, superstition and power lust.

Will you help us?
No. My time is limited and as I said, I have my own destiny to fulfill. (He stands and walks out the door before the interviewer can say anything else.)

Well, that didn't go as planned. Rest assured though, I know all his secrets and motivations. I guess you'll have to read the book to learn the why's and how comes. Anyway, here are some songs that scream Jaron's tortured soul.



Here are links to interviews with some of my other characters:
Talia
Landry
Shishali

Come back on Friday for my interview with new author Sarah-Jane Lehoux!

Theme song for the next WIP

I'm still looking for Landry's song. During the search I found the heartbreaking song for the sequel to SENDEK. When I listened to it I thought it might work for Landry, but when I read the words I knew. I KNEW it was meant for book 2. Knowing what happens breaks my heart. Do you think that is why I haven't made myself start writing?