Wednesday, May 6, 2015

May 2015 IWSG Pushing Forward!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time.

I'm currently #77.

I've talked about a lot of my insecurities over the years, but there are others that I keep locked away. To speak them aloud or write them down would give them too much power. I think we all have things that we keep secret. On a successful day we even manage to keep it a secret from ourselves.

The funny thing is, nothing really stays hidden. The little fears and anxieties leak out when we least expect it. Lately I've started noticing them in my stories. Oh, sure, I knew bits of me were scattered all through the words on the pages, but there were things I didn't recognize as me as well.

Or perhaps I'm becoming those things?

Who knows?

When I dig into the trenches of a WIP I often get caught up in a character. If Talia is upset with Landry, I feel irrationally upset with my hubby. When she feels lost and confused about a certain plot twist, I find myself wandering my house looking for things to do other than write.

If the sun doesn't shine for weeks on end, Talia find's herself on a planet during the rainy season and unable to glean from the sun's power.

Sometimes it's a relief to become her, and then I remember all the torture I have in store for her. My real insecurity today is that I won't be able to bring myself to do it. I don't want to destroy every last bit of hope she has, but I'll have to in book three. That's the dark moment for the series. She has to reach that point in order to find the answers she's searching for.

I think that's a big reason I don't want to finish the second book in the series. It's slower paced than the first book, but it sets everything into motion for book three. If I finish Search For Knowledge I'll have to start Demon Rising in earnest.

I'm getting in my own way again. Trying to ease my character into the next stage when in truth, I just need to throw her off the cliff.

Do you ever get like this? What do you do to get over it?