Friday, January 13, 2012

Pitch Help Please

January 23rd is the day. Yep. That's the first day you can submit manuscripts for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. I entered last year and didn't make it past the first round, but that's not going to stop me from entering again this year.

However, I thought a little feedback from you might be helpful. Here's what I need to have prepared in order to submit:
(1) the complete version of your manuscript ("Manuscript"); check (almost finished with the seek and destroy mission for the word "felt")
(2) up to the first 5,000 words, but not less than 3,000 words, of your Manuscript, excluding any table of contents, foreword, and acknowledgments ("Excerpt"); check
(3) a pitch of your Manuscript consisting of up to 300 words ("Pitch"); and
(4) the personal information required on the entry form.
I've been working on my Pitch. Do you mind reading it and offering up your thoughts. Be tough because this is the only thing the judges look at to move you to round two.
  1. Does it pique your interest? 
  2. Should I drop the first paragraph and/or the last paragraph?
  3. Do I need to give more or less information?
I can use up to 300 words and this is currently only 237 so there is wiggle room.

The planet Sendek has a rich magical heritage. Unfortunately, the people forgot it when they embraced scientific thought. After thousands of years, they no longer believe in dragons, mages, or the two-legged hybrid they created. These Draguman are returning from exile stronger than ever with only one thought on their minds. Wipe out the humans on Sendek and claim it for their own.

Talia Shannon has kept her dreams of invasion a secret, but she knows they will soon come true. Caught between her job at the Space Exploration Foundation and her magical nature, she struggles to warn her people without revealing her source of information. This task leaves no time for personal relationships, but Landry Sutton isn’t looking for a friend.

As nephew to the King, Landry protects his family from a radical group determined to depose the monarchy. He thinks Talia works for them until a touch sizzles between them, and they discover they can communicate telepathically. It turns out Landry has magical secrets of his own.

As a direct descendant of the mage who created the Draguman, Talia is the key to their destruction—if she can learn to trust the magic coursing through her veins.

The arrival of the invading force makes one thing desperately clear—science cannot save them, and magic is now their only hope.

SENDEK: THE MAGIC WAKES is the stand alone first novel in the science fantasy SENDEK SAGA.