IWSG Happy New Year! 2019 Goals and Giveaway

It's a new year. Although it may seem cliche to set goals, this is a good time to evaluate current paths and make any tweaks and course corrections necessary. My goals aren't new by any means, but they are drifting in a new direction.

First, a recap of 2018. My goals were simple--get back to being a writer and publish three stories. I feel I accomplished this. I published two stories as River Ford (Landscape Love and Christmas Magic) and have one coming out next month as Charity Bradford (The Hand of Atua--previously known as Eleena's Tale). The plan had been to release THoA for Christmas but it needed a deeper edit before setting it free. Most of my current insecurities are tied up with these final edits. Things are moving along but so is time.

I'll get there. 

The greatest accomplishment of 2018 was getting the author ball rolling again. It wasn't easy. There were days I really struggled, but I feel the momentum is finally picking up. I'm excited to see what 2019 will bring. 

In order to continue moving forward, I'm keeping my goals simple:

• Continue learning and implementing better marketing skills through kindleprenuer and the many Indie Author podcasts I've discovered
• Write Monday through Friday (Saturday when my family allows) and attend writer's group Wednesday nights
• Finish Teacher's Crush, Dancer's Heart, Demon Rising, and several short romances for an anthology
• Live author events I plan to attend: World Building Panel at Roger's Public Library as a presenter, AAIM as a presenter, Flea In the Park, and possibly the Christmas Bazaar if my hubby does it with me

Did some of your goals carry over from 2018 and what's new for 2019?

Oh, and there are lots of giveaways going on right now. You can read the first 10 chapters of THE HAND OF ATUA in a preview in the following giveaway. I believe there are over 200 books to choose from. Check it out!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the January 2nd posting of the IWSG are: Patricia Lynne, Lisa Buie-Collard, Kim Lajevardi, and Fundy Blue.

The Question of the month is: What are your favorite and least favorite questions people ask you about your writing?

Any question about my stories, characters, or author journey are always fun to talk about. Just be willing to tell me when to stop!

I don't think I have a least favorite question, but I don't care for when people tell me what I should write to make money. Just because I'm a writer doesn't mean I will enjoy writing everything. If I could make myself write strictly for a paycheck I would have done so years ago, but I write for myself. 

IWSG December: Recovering from Nano and Surprise Novellas

I participated in Nanowrimo for the first time in several years. The best part is I use Nano to help me accomplish whatever my goals are at the time. In the first couple of days, I finished THE HAND OF ATUA (currently up for pre-order for Feb 2nd release). Then I decided to write a Christmas short story with the sole purpose of publishing it on December 1st.

Crazy, right!?

Why? Because I had planned to publish three books this year and only did one. Perhaps that's a stupid reason for publishing a short story, but not making my goal really bugged me.

Well, I wrote, got feedback from beta readers, revised, and edited that story in about three weeks. CHRISTMAS MAGIC is doing well at the moment. It makes me feel good, and it sometimes makes me angry. I put years of thought and revisions into my science fiction stories and they never do as well as my romance. Is that because I'm horrible at writing science fiction or simply because romance has a larger audience?

The logical side of me says the latter is true. Romance has a huge market with lots of subgenres and a voracious reader pool. Seriously, romance readers devour books. Maybe they are just easier to market to or simply easier to please? They will forgive huge plot holes, typos, and contrived conflict that doesn't make sense. Science fiction readers are much pickier.

This is why most of my writing insecurities are tied to my science fiction stories. My sci-fi is character driven not science driven. There are aspects that fall short because no amount of reading on a topic will help me sound like I know what I'm talking about--hand to hand combat for instance. Sometimes I wonder if I should give up sci-fi ideas and stick to what makes me money.

However, I love my sci-fi ideas. They give me the opportunity to delve into things in a way I feel comfortable.  Plus, it challenges me to stretch and try and be better than I am. I guess that's what matters. If only the releasing it into the world and hearing crickets didn't hurt so much. Even though I don't get lots of reviews for romance either, at least I can see sales and pages being read.

How does your writing make you stretch and grow? What part of the stretching makes you the most insecure? 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the November 7th posting of the IWSG are: J.H. Moncrieff, Tonja Drecker, Patsy Collins, and Chrys Fey!

December Question: What are 5 objects we'd find in your writing space?

There isn't a clear answer to this one because my writing space changes all the time. I don't have a dedicated space. However, if I'm writing somewhere in my home I will have:
1. my computer of course
2. a water bottle
3. my phone
4. my dog Rosie trying to sit on top of the computer or glued to my side
5. a view of the trees

That's it. If I've traveled somewhere I lose the dog.

Now Available on Amazon

Pre-order on Amazon

IWSG November 2018 The Finisher's Worry

Well, I met one of my goals! I finally finished Eleena's story. The final title is The Hand of Atua.

It topped out at 101K and since the first two parts have already been through three or four revisions, I don't think there will be a lot of cutting in the future.

For the first couple of days after writing the last four chapters, I rode that high.

Then I turned to search for new beta readers to make sure everything flowed after all the changes I made. Enter the insecurity.

What if it's worse now than it was before?

What if it really isn't finished like I hope?

What if I'm delusional and it's crap?

Can I survive wasting three years to produce a pile of fertilizer?

All I can do right now is:

• Breathe
• Wait
• Go through it one more time (or two!) with feedback in mind
• Send it to be edited
• Release and let it go

And most of all, remember that I wrote this story for me. If others enjoy it, that's a bonus. Of course, there is still that mini-me running around in my head screaming, "Please like it! Read, review, make me famous!"

Do you find yourself the most insecure during the writing process or when you release your story?

Sadly, I think mine is when I'm finished because then it's time to share. It's easier to talk myself out of insecurities when no one else has a clue.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the November 7th posting of the IWSG are Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor, Ann V. Friend, JQ Rose, and Elizabeth Seckman!

IWSG Saying Goodbye to February Fear

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG
I'm currently #40.

I've been thinking about fear a lot lately. Why? Because that's probably the main reason I haven't finished the three projects I'm currently working on. I started all three over a year ago. Even though I didn't get to write much last year, these stories are ever present in my mind. 

December and January saw some progress. It helps that if I get stuck on one, I can work on another. It's been slow, but I'm making myself sit and do something almost every day. Some days that's only 500 words. It kills me, because when I allow myself to relax, I can get 1000 words an hour. Something's holding me back.

I read the next two chapters in Eleena's story at writer's group last week. When I finished there was a moment of silence that kind of freaked me out. Then one of the ladies simply said, "That was really good." A veritable love fest followed and that freaked me out too.

The story isn't finished! I don't really know how to close the gap from where I've stopped to the ending I have planned. What if I mess it all up?

Then I remembered a post I wrote on my family blog back in 2009, a year before I started this blog. I went and looked it up because I needed the comfort of remembering what I wrote back then. Here's a bit of it:

This quote is by Marianne Williamson from her book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracle (also used in the movie Akeelah and the Bee and incorrectly credited to Nelson Mandela's Inauguration speech in 1994). 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. 

How many times in our lives do we begin to hope for something, begin to believe that we can accomplish a goal or task that seemed unattainable, and then decide to be "realistic," convincing ourselves that we are too average to really do what we wish? We dream of making a difference in the world, of producing something that we can leave behind with our name on it, but fall prey to the whisperings of inadequacy. It is so easy to do, and we all do it in some form daily.


My insecurity is linked to the fear that this could be the best story I've ever written. Theoretically, it should be the best simply because I've worked hard to improve over the last 8 years since starting to write. I know that in my head. It's logical. However, that puts a lot of pressure to continue to grow. 

What if I can't? What if this is the best I have inside of me? 

What kind of fear do you let cripple your creative energies?

February Question: What do you love most about the genre you write in most often?

I write mostly in the science fiction genre. I love being able to create new worlds in my head. There's always the possibility of something completely new and unique. There are rules, but because I mix my scifi with fantasy elements, I'm free to do whatever I want as long as I create my own rules to follow. And I'm never trapped on one planet unless my character has been left behind without viable transportation. :)

Mostly, I love that I can explore and tackle any emotion or issue I may have in real life in a way that I can manipulate it and overcome the trial. You can do that in any genre, that's what writing is all about, but being as I'd get on a shuttle into space tomorrow if someone asked, I write science fiction.

IWSG and a Brand New Year

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

The new year and first Wednesday sort of snuck up on me. I know that might sound weird, but all the days have been running together. It will be nice to get back into a normal routine again. My boys went back to school today, and there's only two days left until my girls head back to college.

That means all my goals will start on Tuesday, January 9th. Why not Monday? Because I have a dentist appointment that will probably make me cranky for the rest of the day. :)

Anyway, my insecurities are definitely present. I can blame the failure to reach my goals in 2017 on working full time. However, I've quit that job. Now I will be the one to blame for not stepping up.

There is so much that I want to do. So much I still need to learn. In a way, it's easier to concentrate on reading ways to market better, or how to make your newsletter sing. I can brush up on my self editing skills, and so forth. But when it comes down to it, that's all just another way to avoid actually writing.

Case in point--8 hour drive to TN
This used to be prime writing time. On the last trip I just reread everything that I'd already written on one of my WIPs. This in itself was not a waste because I haven't worked on it in quite a while. I needed to reacquaint myself with the characters and story. However, I didn't do anything at all on the return trip. I am stuck.

Fear of not doing the story justice, not getting the emotions I feel for these characters onto the page, has me tied in knots. Part of it is a formatting issue. What's the best way to share this story from two important points of view? 3 shorter novels or 1 with separate parts.

Basically, I want someone to read it and tell me what to do. Decision making is one of my insecurities.

January 3 optional question - What steps have you taken or plan to take to put a schedule in place for your writing and publishing?

Here's the good news. My writer's group starts back up tomorrow. I can take this story and start to get the feedback I need. Just being with these other writers also motivates me to dig back in. That in itself will be exactly what I need.

So, to answer the question. The steps I take for my plan are the same:

• Writer's critique group every Thursday
• Write SOMETHING every day Monday through Friday (Saturday when my family lets me)
• Keep repeating that silent mantra when drafting, "it's okay to write crap, it's okay to write crap"
• Focus on one project at a time (this is hard because I have 3 that are half way done at the moment and about 100 other ideas I want to work on)

How about you? Making any changes this year or will it be same as usual?

May IWSG--Treading Water

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

Treading Water

It feels like forever since I've blogged, and for the first time in years I didn't participate in the April A to Z Challenge. It makes me sad, but I can't change things.

I've been working full time and trying to fit being a mom, wife, choir director, cub scout leader, and friend into the remaining hours. Every once in a while I get some good writing in. It's enough that I haven't "broken" yet, but not nearly enough to finish all the things that I wanted to do this year.

I'm insecure that I'll lose that fire. At the beginning of the year I was really excited about a few of my projects. They paraded and danced through my mind all day and most nights. It made sitting to write easy. Now I'm just drained and tired. I'll open a document and feel let down.

I don't like that feeling.

Theoretically, I know life will move back to my control at some point. Sadly, it seems a long way off.  In spite of the challenges, I have managed to pay for an editor for CHOCOLATE KISSES, formatted it for print (still need to do the ebook and get auditions for audible), purchased covers for all three Eureka Springs stories, and created my website and Facebook page for my pen name.

Oh, and I walked a half marathon last weekend with my hubby and oldest son. Well, they ran, but I walked and had a great time. I even made a new friend that I walked and chatted with for at least 7 miles.

So, I guess I've done a lot, but it feels like I'm treading water. Flailing around and not getting anywhere. *sigh*

Here are my goals for the summer:

1. Finish Empire Rebooted (see sidebar for stats)
2. Finish draft of Landscape Love (2nd Eureka Springs novella)
3. Work on Demon Rising (book 3 in The Magic Wakes series, see sidebar for stats)
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IWSG 30 Years of Friendship, 20 Years of Marriage

Big hair first date, Jr. Prom 1991

Well, my July writing goals fell by the wayside, but it's okay. First, I'll report that I'm physically all better from last month's tumble down the hillside with my car. Even the poison ivy or whatever it was is finally on the mend. I've managed to let go of most of the guilt associated with the accident, but I still need to work on letting the fact that I've made things harder on my family go as well. I'll get there. I'm lucky to have a very loving husband who constantly reminds me I'm more important than a car or car payment.

*sigh*

August is usually one of my favorite months of the year. It's my birthday and our anniversary. Last year I had big plans for this year. I've been married to my best friend for 20 years this year! I had hoped to do something special. Ideas included going somewhere foreign (because we never have--cruises don't count!), going back to where we spent our honeymoon, getting a cabin in the mountains closer to home (when the house didn't sell, and didn't sell, and didn't sell...), but none of that is going to happen. Sadly, my dear hubby will be traveling for work over our anniversary.

You'd think as a writer I could figure out how to put my thoughts and emotions into words. However, there really is no way to explain how much I love this man who works so hard to take care of our family. This amazing man didn't even blink when I asked if my mom could move in with us! He's usually quiet on the emotion front himself. After 20 years we are just comfortable together, and yet he still knows how to make me feel loved and cherished. It's wonderful knowing that my best friend is right beside me for this crazy life journey.

Happy 20th, Nathan!

IWSG AUGUST 3Rd QUESTION:

What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

Well, how far back should I go for this question? I have a folder with some handwritten pages of a story I started in high school. It's about two best friends, a good guy, a bad guy, and one of the girls gets hooked on drugs. I didn't get very far into it because at the time I was pretty clueless about the nitty underbelly of teen drugs and love triangles. What can I say? I grew up pretty naive. :)


There's also a few pages of dot matrix printed pages with an LDS teen romance. LOL, not much better than the other story, but they will probably continue to move with me until I die.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

Co-Hosts:
Tamara Narayan
Tonja Drecker
Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor
Lauren @ Pensuasion
Stephen Tremp
Julie Flanders

IWSG July--Handcarts, Retreats, and Releases

What a crazy month June was! There were so many things happening that I could barely keep up. It was wonderful in way. I was too busy to let my insecurities really kick in. In fact, I think I found new courage in all my running around. So, today I'm rolling with it and just reporting on last month and setting some new goals for July. Having accountability is good for me. 

Report Goals for June:

• Survive a pioneer re-enactment with youth from church next week (I put the best pictures in a slide show. I'm the fat one in the yellow dress, lol. I did pretty good hiding from the camera.)
• 
  
• Finish the draft of Talia's third book (working title: Demon Rising) while attending a writer's retreat--I did continue writing on this, but did not finish yet.
• Continue writing Eleena's story--Added 15K to this story at the writers retreat.

I also got a surprise last month. Book 2 in the MAGIC WAKES has a cover and a release date! You can read about it HERE. 

I'm also running two giveaways on Goodreads. 

THE MAGIC WAKES--2 copies, July 4th--July 12th

DAWN OF THE MAGES--2 copies, July 4th--September 15th

However, you can be entered into a smaller pool of entrants by signing up for my newsletter.

Click HERE.

Goals for July

• Continue working on Demon Rising--it needs to move to priority.

Goals for the rest of 2016:

• Finish both drafts--Demon Rising and Eleena's story (working title: Empire Rebooted)
• Begin revisions on Demon Rising this fall and submit to my publisher

This month's IWSG question: What's the best thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I'd have to say the note I got on Facebook a few months ago. A sweet woman I knew years ago in North Carolina sent me a private message to tell me that her 12 year old daughter found my book on the shelf and read it. 3 times in a week! 

So the mom did what all good moms do. She contacted me to see if I had any other books. A week after I mailed them I got another note telling me that I was her daughters new favorite author! That was a first for me and I'll admit I teared up at that. I'd never even dreamed that was a possibility.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!  Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

Goal Reached!

I set the goal to finish the revision of SEARCH FOR KNOWLEDGE this month. Since there were about 60 odd pages of random first person chapters and several missing scenes at the end, I thought it would take all month.

Yesterday I reached

THE END

And I did something I wouldn't normally do. I immediately queried my publisher.

Part of me thinks/knows I should have waited for my beta readers to get back to me. But the truth is I've been trying to get feedback on this story for six months. People are busy. Life is hard. Not everyone can sit down and read my book for me and give me advice.

The other part of me is ready to move forward with this series. It's been two years for crying out loud! This part won out thanks to several emails with my publisher. Karen let me vent my concerns and then encouraged me to just send it in. She said if nothing else, the acquisitions editor could at least give me a direction on what I need to work on to get it ready for them to accept.

So, no matter what happens in the next month or two, I've finally taken a much needed step forward.

It feels good!

While I wait I'll be drafting book three in the series. I learned my lesson. I will not lose the current momentum.

What are your goals? How are you doing on them? 

Is It Time Yet? New Blogging Schedule

There's one week left until school starts for my kids. Am I ready to jump back in to the three day a week blogging schedule?

I'm not sure that I will be. It depends on how often I get a call to substitute teach. And if I'm gone all day, the afternoons will be filled with my second full time job--Domestic Goddess.

Doesn't that sound nice? Makes cooking, cleaning toilets, laundry and dishes sound much more desirable than just homemaker. Anyway, I'm not ready to make any schedule promises, but I will say that if I blog, it will be on M, W and/or F.

Today I can update you on my August goals.

• I've started sending out emails to school principals concerning the short story contest.
• Battle for Sendek and Here There Be Dragons are plotted out on beat sheets. Yay!
• I've reread the last 50 pages of Fade Into Me in preparation for "filling the gaps".

Once I've done the edits on FIM, I can jump back into Search for Knowledge. My big goal for that one is to get it to beta readers no later than October (it needs considerable work!), and then to my publisher as quickly as possible after that. 

This November I'll draft BFS for Nanowrimo. I figure the only way I'm going to finish this series is by setting quicker goals and DOING it. 

Now, here is where I could use your help. Do you have a high school close to you? I bet you do. Would you be willing to print off a flyer about the contest and take it to the front office?

If so...

Here's the link to the Google Doc--

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0yMdIWpv-EGVnhkR3dMX0VqUWc/edit?usp=sharing

#wipfire for Fade Into Me

This week I've been combing through FIM. There have been more form rejections AND more requests to read pages. My goal with this current revision/edit is to take the feedback from the few agents who offered some (as well as my excellent writer's group) and clean it up my manuscript even more.

This Weeks Accomplishments:

• Broke up a chapter full of backstory (It's important stuff, but I saved it to sprinkle it in at a moment when it will actually cause more tension between Ryanne and Caedan.) 
• Found and cleaned up several "telling" phrases
• Cleaned up a few personality slip ups
• Fell in love with the story all over again

Here are a few of my favorite lines from the novel. #Wipfire on twitter is a neat place to share a line or two you love or get feedback. That's where this idea comes from. Some of them are a bit more than a line. ;)

1
The colors of the garden danced in the sunlight—shades of red, white, yellow and green jumped from plant to plant, mingling, changing. They wrapped themselves around the sound of buzzing insects and the humming of bird wings. This is what I missed the most when living among the humans—this symbiosis of sight and sound. The collective magical ignorance of the human race compelled the colors to remain motionless. Here they played like joyful children.

2
Thunder ripped the sky open. The first drops fell lazily—big fat ones that normally would have made me giddy with joy. But not when wearing my most expensive dress. The lazy rain was followed by the shower. It only took three seconds for me to be soaked.

3
Ever since this human girl walked into my arms, I had been off balance. None of those emotions could be explained by her appearance. She was pretty, but not beautiful. Average in a way, and yet from the moment I saw her I wanted her. Needed her.

4
His eyes were so deep. Bottomless pools of concern. He hadn't bargained on me being damaged goods. Even if I wanted this life, I would never fit in. Not with these beautiful, perfect people and their swirling colors.

5
“Then let her go. Losing her memory might be the best thing for you. You've messed this up so bad you need a fresh start if you’re to have any hope." Mother laughed and continued. "I'm surprised she hasn't decked you yet."
"What are you talking about?" I sunk down, head in my hands. Why did women have to be so confusing?

6
I crumbled at her feet and lay my head on the couch. It smelled like old French fries and dust.

7
“Ryanne, I know you don’t care for me the way I do about you, but can we start all over?” He looked up at me so intently my stomach fluttered.
He cares about me? Still? I felt lighter than I had in days. Maybe he would stick around. But what if he didn’t? My inner demons snarled and clawed until the butterflies had been shredded.

I skipped a huge section between #6 and 7 because the bits I love are entire scenes, but these 7 come from the first 160 pages. Just because I love them doesn't mean you can't offer critique. Tell me what you think--good or bad!

The Importance of Different Kinds of Beta Readers

Can I tell you how much I LOVE my beta readers and critique partners?

I mean, SERIOUS love here.

I'm sure I've mentioned them before, but if not, just know they rock. Today I'm only highlighting two of them, but there are others just as wonderful. Each one brings a different level of insight to help me improve my stories.

Kathy is my first beta reader. And she is a reader, not a writer. She knows how to get excited about the idea and the potential while still pointing out major character or plot flaws. Do you know how priceless that is!! The balance between building me up, encouraging me, and saying "but this is NOT working over here" is perfect. 

She doesn't write notes in the document I send her. Instead, she calls me up and we have a conversation about what she read. She asks questions and I get the chance to explain what I was aiming for with certain characters or scenes. Then we delve into how I can pull it off better, or discuss alternatives. It's really cool. Kathy is a collaborator as much as a reader. And she's mine! All mine, I tell you! *maniacal laughter*

*cough* 

After Kathy helps me iron out some of the big picture flaws, I move to my other betas and critique partners. 

CD Coffelt (AKA Huntress). She just "gets" me. In fact, we might just be different versions of the same person. I love her stories, she loves my stories. We write at the same level with similar styles. She gets into the document and helps me find the details that I'm missing, as well as some of those pesky punctuation issues that I ignore during drafting. She's a saint for putting up with it actually. 

What I love most about CD's critique style is she will comment on "odd" bits, but she will also mark lines and phrases that she feels are especially well written. I'm trying to emulate her in that aspect. Be positive, highlight the great things as well as point out the areas that need work. 

There are generally a handful of other people that get to read my "pre-publishable" works. My daughter(s), hubby, another best friend or two whose opinions I highly value (Laura, Kara), and then there is my amazing writer's group. We've been sparse in numbers lately, but man has that worked to my advantage! All of these people help give me a perspective on how the story is perceived by different ages, personalities and genders. I know I won't be able to please all of them, and I'm not even going to try, but it's fun to see the variety of thoughts one story can provoke. 

All of these people have helped me tremendously with FADE INTO ME over the last two months. It went from a  49K draft of potential to it's current 58K state. It's not perfect yet, but man has it grown. The characters have come alive. The plot is better developed and streamlined. And the coolest (and perhaps the scariest!) thing? This completely stand alone book developed spin-off potential for one of the secondary characters. 

*headdesk* Like I need another idea at the moment! No worries, I've filed it away until I finish revisions on Search For Knowledge.

Do you have betas and critique partners? Who do you want to shout out to today?

A Rose By Any Other Name? Character Stubborness

I woke up dreaming about Fade Into Me this morning. That's how deeply I've pushed myself into Ryanne's world for these revisions. Things are going really well too. .

There is one little problem though. My male MC is being so very peculiar about his name. He's been through several different ones over the last year, most of them in the last two months. It's been: Carter, Caedmon, Kieran, Devin, Zander and now I'm trying on Alec.

What is your name!!!???

Never has a character given me so many problems over a name. And names are so important! They really do affect how the characters feel in my head. *sigh* The good news is that the last name change happened during a read aloud at writer's group last night. Alec survived that.

It's sad too though because I liked Zander until he said, "I'm Zander."

I paused after reading it and the group members said all at once, "No."

Kind of cool, kind of freaky, and definitely frustrating. My group is awesome though so we stopped the reading and picked out a new name. I also made my daughter laugh last night. Did I finally write something humorous that someone else caught? Granted she then told me the thing that made her laugh made her think of a similar line in Supernatural and then something in The Walking Dead. *head shake* I love my geeky children. :)

Has a character ever given you this much trouble? What did you do to get him back in line?

Want a sneak peak at this draft?

Between the headache and my finicky stomach, I turned in the opposite direction from the hotel. I knew there were apartment complexes farther along this street. That meant bus stops.

My body ached and trembled like I had the flu, slowing my pace. With each step away from the garden it took more effort to lift my feet than moments before. Every blink flashed images of dark hair, a strong jaw line and shoulders draped with an expensive tuxedo.

Why can’t I get him out of my mind?

The breeze picked up sending shivers along my exposed arms and legs. The clouds had rolled in and everything took on that creepy pre-storm yellow-green glow. It faded quickly, and I was left in a premature twilight.

Thunder ripped the sky open. The first drops fell lazily. Big fat raindrops that normally would have made me giddy with joy. But not when walking down the side of the road in my most expensive dress. The lazy drops were followed by the shower. It only took three seconds for me to be soaked.

My hair dripped down my back and face. I pushed it out of the way and bent down to remove my shoes. It was time to run for it, but my blisters couldn't take the rubbing. The rain filled my mind and ears and I didn't hear the motorcycle until it was barreling down on me.

I jumped out of the way as the bike flew past me, and tumbled into the ditch on the side of the road. Gravel and brush dug into my skin as I rolled down into a growing puddle of water. Somewhere tires screeched and the motorcycle clattered to the ground. The driver ran down the embankment. His body blocked some of the rain from my face as he leaned over me and removed his helmet.

"Mo Run?" (NOTE: He explains how to pronounce this the first time they meet and he says it. It's mo rune)

"You?" I struggled to sit up and once more his strong grip steadied me. Strange thoughts flickered through my mind. Visions of me and him living happily ever after. I must have hit my head in the fall.

"Are you okay?" He pulled me to my feet.

“I’ve lost a shoe.” The one I’d been holding before leaping into the ditch was nowhere to be seen. The weeds didn’t look like they’d give it up anytime soon.

Writer's Conference and the Agent Pitch

I've always wanted to attend a conference and a real pitch session. As terrifying as they sound, I know it would be an invaluable learning experience.

In April I'll get my chance!

For Christmas, my wonderful hubby signed me up for the LDStorymakers Conference. As soon as I knew I was signed up, I got online to see what intensives and pitch sessions were available. They all filled up on day one! I was a bit sad about that, but decided to put my name on the waiting list for one of the agents that I think might "get" my YA novel Fade Into Me. Monday night I got the email that enough people had canceled and I was in if I still wanted it!

I shot off a quick email before going to bed saying I'd take it. Tuesday morning it sunk in.

What did I do?? FIM was complete, the first half really good, the middle not bad, but the last half is a disaster. The plot crumbles to mush and my characters develop multiple personalities. However, I do know how to fix it. You may remember me mentioning it in this month's IWSG post. I also noted that I was setting FIM aside to work on Search For Knowledge (Talia's sequel)--which I did. So yesterday I FREAKED out.

Fade Into Me wasn't ready to share with an agent if they wanted to look at it!

The adrenaline pushed me all day. I found two people ready and willing to read for me, and I worked through the first 125 pages of the manuscript. By the end of the day my house was still a mess and I didn't know what to cook for dinner, but I was confident that in two months I could have this ms rocking. That's a great feeling.

Today I want to share a great article with you that proves I put more pressure on myself than necessary.
7 Tips for Pitching to an Agent or Editor at a Conference by Writer's Digests very own Chuck Sambuchino.

According to this I have up to a year to submit the manuscript if the agent requests it. Plenty of time! No pressure at all!

Whatever.

If' I'm doing this I want to be ready now. Which  might be partly stupid, but it turns out I need the pressure of a deadline to get things done.

Do deadlines bring out the best in you, or are you disciplined enough to get it done on your own?

First IWSG of 2014--Too Many Ideas, Too Little Time

The title of the post says it all. My insecurities this month are that I'm:

• Too slow at writing
• Too much of a perfectionist to get the most out of the few short hours I get every week to scribble something down
• Too easily distracted by social media
• Too concerned about what others think

However, my head is full of ideas. I mean, all it takes is a drive down the road and the right song and I've got another idea! The main ones look something like this--

• 3 sequels to THE MAGIC WAKES (Science Fantasy)
• YA Contemporary Science Fantasy
• Romantic Suspense
• A Space Opera
• YA Contemporary
• 2 Novellas for Talia's world (one connecting, one historical)

That's 7 full length novels of conflicted characters fighting for space in my head. They aren't waiting patiently for their turn, and that's making it hard to concentrate and WRITE. Then there are the short story ideas, but we won't get into that this month.

I didn't quite finish Search For Knowledge (one of the sequels) in December, but I'm really close--4 more scenes to reach THE END. My goal is to finish it by Saturday. Fade Into Me (the YA contemporary scifi) needs another 10K words or so to reach the end. Hopefully I'll get into it again next week.

Every day I must make myself sit down and write. 

I will finish those two stories in January. 

This will clear some brain space. 

It sounds like a good plan right? Then why is it so hard?

I need someone to push me. Someone to email me and say, "Did you write another scene today?"

Anyone willing to do that?

I'm also heading up a blogfest on Unicorn Bell this month.

You can learn all about it and sign up for it HERE. Posting will be any day the 20th through the 24th, and I'll highlight some of my favorite posts on UB during the week. So get them up early!

Purpose of IWSG: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time. I'm currently #136.

Also, in case you've missed the Facebook page...

Pizza Quiche and Snow Days

Yes, there is supposed to be a road there.

Are you close to giving up on me?

I know I've been really quiet and not reliable about posting since the beginning of November. The truth is I can't think of much to post about. Life is moving on in its normal fashion and my biggest goal is to concentrate. On something. Anything.

I'd like it to be writing.

Looking for a place to "go"

Which means any free time I get I'm staring at my document willing myself to write the next scene. It's so hard! I want to go back to the beginning and make the changes I decided on during that long drive home after Thanksgiving. BUT, I know if I do that I'll start editing, revising and generally putting off getting to the end of this story.

I've set the goal of writing 5 new pages every day. It's not much, but my kids have been out of school since last Thursday due to snow and ice, so it's better than nothing. I'm also allowing myself to edit 5 pages a day in the hopes I'll satisfy that craving and still keep writing. The deal is I have to write the new pages before I can edit. It's working out pretty well.

This is what the neighborhood kids did for 5 days straight. Yes, that is my solid ice driveway.

Icicle from our house

My hubby also reached his 12 foot goal. In three weeks time he managed to "swap up" our 7.5 food Christmas tree to a 9.5 foot tree for $0. He then sold that tree and bought a 12 foot tree. Total cost? $25 out of pocket. Not bad. Not bad at all.

The only problem with this tree, other than we have to get out the BIG ladder to decorate it, is that most of the lights didn't work. Hubby was very disappointed but realized it would still be cheaper to keep this tree and buy more lights. I suggested we don't buy lights until after Christmas when they all go on sale. Yes, I'm cheap. Anyway, I then pulled out our big Charlie Brown lights that usually go on our house. They aren't up for two reasons-- 1. our roof is too steep for either of us to feel comfortable up there, and 2. It snowed like crazy before we could convince ourselves to pay someone else to do it.  

Are you wondering about that pizza quiche? It's my favorite pie ever. No one else in my family likes quiche so it was my attempt to get them to try it. Standard recipe, but you use sausage and pepperoni for the meat and a blend of cheeses. It's so yummy. I made one earlier in the week and have been living off it. Sadly it's now gone. *sigh*

Next week will be my week over at Unicorn Bell and I've decided to do photo prompts or "fill in the caption".

Have you seen any amazing photos in the last week that I should take a look at before choosing? Just share the link below.

Thanks!

Whimsical Wednesday and Getting Ready for Nanowrimo

It's Wednesday and I don't have anything smart to blog about. I'll just do some thinking out loud instead. Sort of a prep for Nanowrimo.

It's coming up quick and my mind is still split in two. I want to just relax and enjoy Nano. Write something completely new that has no pressure attached to it. However, I've been dragging my feet all year when it comes to completing a workable first draft of Talia's sequel. I've played around with scenes and situations. Up to 50K even. And then I threw most of it away because it was completely indulgent. Fun for me, but most likely boring for everyone else.

What to do??

I'll probably "rebel" Nano again this year. That's what they call it when you make the process work for you. Every year is this way for me. I think that's how it should be. My guess is I'll plan to write on The Search for Knowledge but when I'll work on Fade Into Me (which is plotted to the end and just needs writing) or Last Christmas.

Who knows what I'll end up with by the end. If I'm lucky, I'll get a very rough, but complete draft that I can work on after Christmas and maybe finish Fade Into Me. If my family cooperates I know I can do this.

Are you participating in Nano this year? What do you plan to write?

If you are participating feel free to add me as a buddy--solstice1974.

Here are links to posts I wrote in years past to help prepare for Nano.
Plotting vs Pantsing
Story Structure
Character Development
World Building
Conflict vs Crisis
Resources and Procrastination Links

Resumes and Writing

I worked on my resume yesterday and handed it over to my hubby for review. He's really good at making things like that look professional. In fact, people are always sending them their resumes for a good work over. So, having him look at mine seemed like a good idea.

Until he started laughing.

Imagine my already shrinking ego sinking through the floor.

It wasn't that my resume was bad. Just woefully short. It didn't take up half a page! In my defense I've been blessed to be a stay at home mom for the last 17 years. And even though a sense of humor might be a plus when seeking a job, I don't think Domestic Goddess (followed by a long list of skills acquired over the last few years) would go over well.

Hubby's attempt at appeasing me only made things worse. His words?

"It'll be okay. It's not like you're applying for something big, just retail and you're way over qualified for that."

Not too bad, but what if I wanted to apply for a "real job"? Not that I want to mind you. I'd much rather stay at home and write all day. But can you see how complicated and ridiculous my brain can be? I got mad at him for the statement when I didn't want to work in the first place.

Heads up boys! 80% of women are like this (this is a made up statistic). We just can't help it.

On a more positive note...

Yesterday was the first day back to school for the kids. I did a 'little' cleaning and then sat down to work on Fade Into Me. This is the project I've decided to focus on over the next three weeks. It's the closest to being finished and my goal is to do just that before QueryCon starts in September.

What are your goals for the next week?