May IWSG--Treading Water

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

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Treading Water

It feels like forever since I've blogged, and for the first time in years I didn't participate in the April A to Z Challenge. It makes me sad, but I can't change things.

I've been working full time and trying to fit being a mom, wife, choir director, cub scout leader, and friend into the remaining hours. Every once in a while I get some good writing in. It's enough that I haven't "broken" yet, but not nearly enough to finish all the things that I wanted to do this year.

I'm insecure that I'll lose that fire. At the beginning of the year I was really excited about a few of my projects. They paraded and danced through my mind all day and most nights. It made sitting to write easy. Now I'm just drained and tired. I'll open a document and feel let down.

I don't like that feeling.

Theoretically, I know life will move back to my control at some point. Sadly, it seems a long way off.  In spite of the challenges, I have managed to pay for an editor for CHOCOLATE KISSES, formatted it for print (still need to do the ebook and get auditions for audible), purchased covers for all three Eureka Springs stories, and created my website and Facebook page for my pen name.

Oh, and I walked a half marathon last weekend with my hubby and oldest son. Well, they ran, but I walked and had a great time. I even made a new friend that I walked and chatted with for at least 7 miles.

So, I guess I've done a lot, but it feels like I'm treading water. Flailing around and not getting anywhere. *sigh*

Here are my goals for the summer:

1. Finish Empire Rebooted (see sidebar for stats)
2. Finish draft of Landscape Love (2nd Eureka Springs novella)
3. Work on Demon Rising (book 3 in The Magic Wakes series, see sidebar for stats)
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Friday Already?

Once again the week flew by, thank goodness! This gets me one step closer to a fun filled (crazy) summer and then the fall. I can't wait for the fall. For the first time in sixteen years I will be at home with NO CHILDREN during the day!

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but think of the writing I can get done. Hopefully the biggest edits for Sendek: The Magic Wakes will be almost finished by that point, but I don't really know. I guess it depends on how blind am to the true faults in my story. However, if they are finished I can put everything into finishing book two Orek: The Search for Knowledge and get a detailed outline of Battle for Sendek on paper by the end of the year. That's what I would LIKE to accomplish, but we all know how life happens.

All of that is taking for granted that Faerie Wings will be finished and beta read by one or two people BEFORE the end of summer.

Do you think its weird that I've set writing goals for the entire year already?

Well, here is the week in review:
Work on Faerie Wings I did add another 1500 words, not as much as I wanted to do. There have just been to many other things to do. Most of that 1500 words were dialogue. Funny how much I love writing descriptions, but when I write, I write the dialogue first and then fill in around it.
Finish writing the short story I started Finished and submitted. I probably should have had someone read it first. :)

Prepare and teach all my lessons this week--not last minute I even made an awesome powerpoint for one of them.

Visit two families that I need to Check, and I made homemade bread for them and another family. I really do enjoy serving others, even if I complain about it. Perhaps a goal for next week should be "less complaining".
All that housekeeping stuff that doesn't go away Eh, maybe 80% on this one?
Make eye appointments for everyone--I keep forgetting this one
Run Um, failure. I ran once. Tonight should be interesting. Good thing I already planned to stay with my 5 year old. ;)
Run a 5k with my family Friday night--This is happening no matter what.

13.1 Miles of sheer determination

Well, I survived. Running is one of the easiest things to use as a metaphor for writing. Saturday I learned a new angle to take that comparison.

A month ago, my friend Laura and I were well on track to run a full marathon the second week of November. We ran our 14 mile long run and felt pretty good. Then I went on that wonderful cruise and fell off the running wagon.

In fact, I quit all together. Lots of excuses and 'reasons', but it boiled down to the fact I'm lazy and was depressed that I couldn't live full time on a cruise ship and be pampered like royalty.

Yeah, I'm like that.

Anyway, my good friend knew I needed some motivation. She also understands that money motivates me.

A lot.

Sad, but true.

So, she signed us up for a 1/2 marathon that took place last Saturday. For three weeks I told myself I should go run. I finally did. Once. For two miles. Yeah, not enough preparation for running thirteen.

But, early Saturday morning I was standing in line with my good friend. Thinking the whole time I was bat crazy and would probably not be able to walk for the next three days.

We ran together for the first four miles with a 2/1 group. They trained together and their strategy was run 2 minutes and then walk 1 minute. After four miles I told my friend to keep going with them and not worry about me. I kept them in sight for another three miles and then slowed down considerably.

Here's where it relates to writing.

Lesson #1:What works for someone else may not work for you. Laura has a knee that gives her problems. This 2/1 thing really worked for her and helped her knee not hurt so bad. I have problems with my lungs (long story get some of it here) and the 2/1 thing put me on the edge of hyperventilating. I couldn't settle into my rhythm and had a hard time regulating my breathing.

I think it would have been the same even if I had been running regularly before Saturday.

Lesson #2: Sometimes you can bully your way to your goal by sheer willpower/determination/stubborness. Heaven knows my body was not in the mood to run/walk/hobble 13.1 miles Saturday morning. But, by golly, I was determined to get to the finish line as fast as I could so I could go home and take a nap.

I ran slow and steady for as long as I could. Then I walked. Usually up the steepest hills. And through all the water stations.

Lesson #3: A friendly word can push you another mile down the road. Seriously. I wore these really cool mismatched zebra print knee socks. Every time someone yelled, "I love your socks!" I felt better and pushed forward with renewed strength.

I also wore a shirt that read, "Run Like A Mother". This also garnished lots of fun comments. I guess my point is sometimes we have to bring attention to ourselves to keep our egos fed. Yeah, I'm like that, too. :)

And finally, Lesson #4: Sometimes you have to let your friends and family drag/push/pull/encourage you through that last hundred feet. There is no shame in breaking down. Just don't push away those who are trying to help you. Sometimes you just need a moment of someone pulling you to remember that you are strong enough to do it yourself.

I took my shoes off for the last mile (nasty blister), so this is me holding the timing chip down to be scanned. I gained 20 minutes by not being prepared. My PR for a 1/2 marathon is 2:32:33. 20 minutes in racing is a LONG time!

Thanks, Laura and family!

Running and Writing

Let's talk running first.

Not me...yet!

On Saturday I headed out bright and early for a 14 mile run with my best friend. There are some things you just can't do by yourself, or more accurately WON'T do by yourself. Running 14 miles is one of those things for me. However, chugging uphill the last four miles (all up BTW), my friend was right in front of me. I kept my eyes on her back and somehow kept moving. There were times I slowed to a walk during the last four miles, but I picked my feet up because I had to get home one way or the other.

Writing is a lot like this for me. I love the blogging community and how we collaborate to improve our writing. I know I would not revise/edit as many times as I do without my wonderful critique partners.

When I'm tired and ready to give up, someone always gives me a kick or shove and says, "You can do this, keep going!"

There have been moments over the past two years where writers in front of me caught agents or sold and released their debut novels. My iPod might have been playing This Song (embedded at bottom) by the Plain White T's (it did play on that uphill climb Saturday and I was sending dark thoughts Laura's way for not letting me quit). I might have thought for half a moment it was about them, but after that moment passed I could say that I'm really grateful for those in front of me. They are the proof that if I keep writing, revising, starting over (picking my feet up over and over), one day I'll reach my goal.

So...This weekend I worked through the first fifty pages of Sendek...again. (I also worked on some short stories.)

I finally let go of the last hold out 'thing'. I don't know what to call it really, but for years I've clutched my 1st person POV for Talia close, even though my 3rd person POV reads smoother. No longer! This last revision before hiring an editor will change all those 1st person sections to 3rd person.

I have to be honest and say I'm really excited about it. The change is simple, but the results so far have astounded me. What if this is the only thing that's been holding me back?

Who is your best cheerleader? Who gives you that kick in the backside to get moving again?

I have so very many that I can't list them all. Suffice it to say that my best writing kick in the pantsers (<--pantsers!) are friends I've made through blogging. Not my family. There are certain people who read my stuff, give honest critiques, and send me emails that say "you need a kick in the pants!" I hope you guys/gals know who you are and how much I appreciate you.

Thanks!

Still Recovering

LOL, my life didn't slow down enough for me to recover quickly from a week on my feet feeding people. It just keeps marching on. I'm now in full training mode for the marathon in November.

I Hate Every Minute Of It.

So why am I doing it? Because my best friend is a nazi training partner and she won't let me quit. Aren't friends great?! I need her right now to reach a goal I set. It's hard. It stinks. I stink. It hurts.

But...I'll lose that last 20 pounds and I really want one of those 26.2 stickers to put on my van with the 13.1.

There, that's how crazy I am. I'm willing to run 26 miles for a sticker.

What crazy things are you willing to do for a prize? And what would the prize be?
Warning: I may or may not use this information for future contests. Depending on the cost of prizes of course. :)

Oh! I forgot that I wanted to leave you with an awesome song today as well.


Coming up Next Week:
Post on patience and predators
Post on my first PERSONALIZED rejection *totally made my day* weird huh?
My vlog *crosses fingers*
Pictures of the cake from camp
Book review of Behemoth by Scott Westerfeld

Life/Writing Update

I haven't reported on my progress in a while. That's probably because I don't feel like I'm moving forward with the actual writing at the moment. Life has been too crazy. Days go by where I feel lucky to get 1-2 hours in my house. It feels like I'm running all over the place. Oh, well. School will start the end of August and then I can get back to writing.

The good news is I did start querying again. I'm sending them out slowly. Taking my time to research and really think about each agent before I send that email or letter.

I've sent 5. Yeah, I know, but read above again. I have had two partial requests, one pass, and two no news yet. I feel like that's pretty darn good! Something is definitely working better this go around. I have three more agents researched and the queries written. All I  need to do is print everything off and buy some envelopes so I can mail them.

In other news, I'm in week 2 of my marathon training. Week one was good--except the long run didn't happen. Yeah, the most important part! I had a five hour training meeting on Saturday and by the time I was done running had fallen off the To-do list. (I really hope these extra pounds start melting away!)

So, this week is:
Monday--run 3 miles check
Tuesday--run 5 miles
Wednesday--run 3 miles
Thursday--cross train
Friday--run 5 miles
Saturday--run 10 miles
Sunday--rest (LOL, obviously these people don't go to my church!)

What's going on in your lives--other than writing? Tell me, I really want to know.

Holy Followers, Batman! and 1/2 Marathon Report

OMGoodness! I go away for 24hours and come back to 20 new followers! While you are here, sign up for the "Hone your skills blogfest" ---> in the sidebar. It's going to be a lot of fun.

*WAVES*

Hello, to all the bright new faces. I'll do my best to get around to your blogs this week and follow back. If you don't see me pop in, drop me a note. I'm absent minded sometimes. :)

This weekend, hubby and I slipped away to Myrtle Beach without the children. That in itself would have been lovely, but we also ran the 1/2 Marathon while we were there. The weather was gorgeous! Perfect for an early morning run.

I have to admit that our training was less than perfect. WAY LESS. In fact, before Saturday morning, our farthest running distance was only six miles. My goal for the day was to survive and cross the finish line. I didn't have a plan for my time or how far I would run before walking.

I was pantsing 13.1 miles!

I don't recommend that, but it turned out much better than I anticipated. With hubby's help I ran eight miles before stopping to walk a bit. Turns out the walking hurt worse than the running though, so I only walked for a minute and started again. I stopped twice after that to stretch my hips and then kept moving forward. (This isn't about writing, but can you fill in the analogy? Long distance running is the perfect analogy for writing in SO many ways.)

The last half mile is ALWAYS the worst (at least for me), because you know you are so close. It's all mental by then. You KNOW you can run half a mile. You've already run 12.6 of them, so what's another half? It's half a mile of "there's nothing left" or "I'm gonna throw up" or "I think I can, I think I can". Or usually all three.

I hit the last tenth and thought "MOVE" and nothing happened. My feet were still in automatic motion which was all I could hope for. And then another runner stepped up beside me. It was the girl in the long purple striped socks that I had stayed close to for at least half the race. (I was wearing my awesome long heart socks.)

"Come on, let's do this! We've stayed together the whole time so don't quit on me now."

And we sprinted!

We crossed the finish line together, thanked each other and hugged before going our separate ways. That is why I love running. What other competitive sport is also so encouraging, with complete strangers?

Writing. But we do get to know each other better. Wait, not about writing today. :)

Here are some picture highlights.

Walking the beach the afternoon before the race.

I couldn't get a good picture, but the full moon on the ocean was beautiful. Our hotel was right on the beach.

The sleepy eyed start right before sunrise.

I love being apart of something big like this. Runners of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds and abilities up for an early morning run.

We crossed the starting line about eight minutes after the cannon went off.

The hotels blocked the view most of the run, but the ocean was there in glimpses.

My garmin said the girl and I reached a 6.4 minute mile that last tenth of the race. That's how happy you are to reach the finish. You can make yourself DO what you had decided you Couldn't do.

The medals were awesome! One of my favorites

Right after this we got in line for massages--the second best thing after a race. What's the first? A shower!

My final time was 2:35. Considering my best time with full training was 2:33 I'm happy! And this morning I feel pretty good. Unless I need to go up or down stairs. And then I look 100 years old. LOL.